Timelies all!

Tired and cranky, as usual.

My brother fucking relapsed again. I don't know the whole story, only that his wife has been in Guatemala for work and was supposed to get back this evening. He had a very stressful weekend because one of his clients self-harmed and the hospital called him to assess his client and view and document the client's self-harm injuries; the next day, the client ODed; the day after that, my brother met with his client's sister and mother. Really rough shit. I've been texting with him all weekend, and a couple of times today it occurred to me that I hadn't heard from him today, but I figured it's a Monday, he's busy, and his wife gets back today.

But no, he texted me 15 minutes ago to tell me "[Wife] just brought me home from the hospital. Relapse, I'll call tomorrow." Jesus fucking Christ. After the last time he relapsed, he said that if he relapsed again it would probably kill him. Obviously it didn't, but fucking Christ, I can't handle this again. I mean, he's okay -- well, not *okay*, clearly, but he's alive, so I should be glad about that. And I am. But god DAMN.

And Tim's back on night shift for 2 weeks to finish an urgent project, so it's after midnight and I'm just sitting here freaking out by myself.

Oy, Tep!

Obviously that's super stressful for him to deal with alone, but maybe he shouldn't be doing super stressful work if his support system is going to be out of country periodically? IDK. Not judgey but that doesn't sound like a great situation.

And he's still alive. And he got to the hospital. And he got out. So...exhaling.

Too much drama around the humans in your immediate family, girl! They need to calm the fuck down.

Obviously that's super stressful for him to deal with alone, but maybe he shouldn't be doing super stressful work if his support system is going to be out of country periodically? IDK. Not judgey but that doesn't sound like a great situation.

I've thought the same thing. There's no shame in recognizing that there are some situations that are going to be too hard to navigate without relapsing. Actually, fuck there being no shame in it -- it's super damn important to recognize that you just can't do some things, and for him it looks like it's high-stress work situations when his support system is out of the country.

Too much drama around the humans in your immediate family, girl! They need to calm the fuck down.

My FiL started hospice, Tim is having suicidal ideation, and we both just had Covid a second time. And my brother relapsed again. 2022 isn't looking any better than 2020 or 2021. I think my emotional bandwidth just ticked over into negative numbers. I am tapped the fuck out.

Ugh that sounds like a highly shitty 2022 Teppy. I hope the things that can, get better.

David, it’s a LOT of money…definitely be sure it’s a house you really want!

Oh, Teppy, I'm so sorry. This is so hard.

2022 is not doing us any favors, gotta say.

My niece, who gets married in 3 weeks, has Covid, and possibly pneumonia. My oldest brother's wife (and of course we haven't seen them for two solid years) won't be coming to the wedding.

And on a lighter note, I took my dog to class tonight and she spent the whole class running in circles and eating horse poo. Sigh.

Steph that is a lot going on. I hope your brother does make changes he needs to stay sober.

2022 needs to send something good your way.

Oh, man, Steph. I'm sorry there's so much serious stuff to cope with right now.

Ugh, Steph, that's all way too much. I know it might seem impossible right now but I hope you can find space to take care of yourself, too, whatever that means for you. Sending love.