I got another card, this one from Kat. Thank you! It's beary cute.

I held out until the bitter end, hoping to go out on a positive note, but 'twas not to happen. I've been trying to get out of my current position for the past 6 months. My boss doubled my workload, and of course, I am failing spectacularly. The section chief for neuro, who I do not work for, came down to complain I'm not supporting her people enough and she'd tattle on my boss if I didn't do better. It wasn't until she left that I thought of telling her, "Yes! please do. Let him know I am failing and then I can go to HR and file a complaint for harassment." Bitca. Anyway, the most recent position, one I thought I was a shoe in for, sent me a nice letter to say thanks for the application, but we had more qualified candidates. Ugh. Gotta keep trying.

And, my kids had to enact drama on Christmas. My daughter has foresworn holding any events at her house that includes her brother. This happens at least once a year, usually Christmas. It's getting to where I just want to skip it.

The one bright spot is that I got together with my one true love. Never thought I'd say that, again. I'm 62, and while I know it's never too late, I thought it was for me. She is my Sunshine, literally. Her parents were kind of hippy-dippy in naming. The lovely thing is that we've known each other for 8 years, so there's no rude surprises, just a deeper connection than we allowed ourselves before. It's what I always hoped and wanted and finally have. It's the one thing that brings me peace going into 2020.

Honey Nut Cheerios:

And it wasn't all bad. The job is just what is preying on my mind. I had great fun in October going to Canada for a figure skating competition to see my favorite skaters in action for the first time. Got to meet in person many of the people from twitter that I chat with about figure skating. That was the highlight of my year. And I plan on going to as many events as I can afford going forward. Worlds is in Montreal in March, so I'm looking forward to that with great excitement!

Aw, Sail, I'm so happy for you and Sunshine! I hope the job situation improves somehow, I know how much that can grind a person down.

I don't think I really have anything to say about 2019. Good times, bad times, etc. I've been feeling pretty adrift, I'm going to try to take charge of myself a little more for 2020.

2019 was a rollercoaster - I'd like a bit more of a flat ride through 2020. But in a year when so much is changing, I think the best I can hope for is a soft landing and some stability for me, mac, and my parents.

I'm 62, and while I know it's never too late, I thought it was for me.

I am so happy for you. My mom was 66 when she re-married after my dad died. And was happily married until she passed at 95. Go love!

2020 will be such a huge year of change for you, msbelle! I'm excited for you. I have been so incredibly impressed with how you are making a new life for yourself.

Stability is a sensible wish. I hope y'all get it, msbelle.

I really don't have anything of note to report, which, on reflection is probably a good thing.

I'm overjoyed to see Sail, Katie, and AmyParker's names here again, and hope they stay. And I'm just as joyed to see all your familiar names, still here. Stay. You're part of the collective, you know, and you're needed...for, um, the needs and goals and the being of the collective.

Much strength and purpose to those of us undergoing hardship, change against our wills, and losses. And much receptiveness and adaptation to change we want, or that will improve our lives, or the lives of ones we love.

Lights on low, one guy on guitar in the corner and one person dancing alone, face introverted and thoughts as well. Long as one person still dancing on the 'Bama Gal, the world's longest perpetual floating house party still going.

2019 was a really tough year for me. I'm not over it. Even writing these bland sentences has me in tears.

I'm grateful for you all.

I'm going to go re-read Sail's post, because surprising love is the best kind of surprise.

How about some boredom, 2020? I welcome it.

Well, this year both flew by and also feels like a year ago was forever ago. One year ago today I got the OK to FINALLY start putting some weight on my ankle. It took another month or so before I was able to stop using crutches. And now I'm mostly back to normal life...but it still feels weird and wrong pretty much every step, and hurts most of them too. Not a ton, usually (though still sometimes depending on what I'm up to), but still. I don't love how old I feel these days (add a few wrinkles becoming prominent and more gray hairs and I definitely realize how old I am!). So with all the physical therapy and some work stress and so on, the beginning of the year was pretty meh, I think? But then I took my unexpected 5 month work sabbatical, and it was a blast. Cost me a ton of savings, but knowing I had a paycheck waiting at the end made it doable (though not having that would've meant I actually looked for a job, which I didn't). But I went to France, watched a lot of soccer, chilled out, visited Pix and ND, went to Atlanta and visited my sister and folks in SC for the first time, organized a local soccer weekend, and then spent almost a month in Colombia! Pretty sweet, but also reminded me of how much I do love being home and seeing my friends a lot. Lost my roommate, but then she moved back in. And then she moved out again, and I got a new one. Still working out how that's going (It's only been a month) but so far OK I think. And going back to work has been pretty good--I'm on a decent project with good people, even if I'm cleaning up after some messes.

So....all in all, ended a hell of a lot better than 2018? But I'm still hopeful 2020 will be more awesome. Even if I'm very scared of politics at the moment.

Shir, I got your card today. I've also gotten lovely cards from several others on the board, and thank you all, but Shir's note seemed to suggest she wondered when it would get here, hence specifying. The card exchange was a great idea! I love sending and getting cards.