OH GOOD THE HOME THEATER INSTALLATION GUY HAS ARRIVED AT OUR NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.

Tell us, Dana, HOW DO YOU KNOW?

We are desperately, desperately hoping it's just that loud for calibration purposes.

OH GOOD DANA'S DOG FOUND THE CHAINSAW.

You can pretend the dog ate the sound system when you somehow mysteriously sabotage it? If the level isn't just calibration, that is.

The fucking music is still going. The fucking install guy's van is still there.

OH GOOD DANA'S DOG FOUND THE CHAINSAW.

Blue punch buggy!

People. Some white dude married to an acquaintance of mine who I've hung with casually a couple of times at parties and such just reacted VERY BADLY when I commented that, no, people of color can't be "just as racist" as white people. I tried putting it into historical context. I explained I've been studying this for 10 years and seeking to broaden my own perspectives and suggested a couple of books he might want to check out. His response was the most condescending, arrogant, mansplaining and insulting dismissal of my intelligence and education I have EVER experienced. Dude, I KNOW YOU. I WILL SEE YOU SOCIALLY. TRY to at least be civil. I really had to walk away before I ruin my friendship with his wife, but I AM SO PISSED.

Or emotionally exhausted. Also feeling that.

Pix, that sucks.

Not enough wypipo get that racism isn't simply prejudice. There is a big divide between those of us who understand that it is is social/political/econonic power plus racial prejudice and those who do not. until we can get it into their heads that the power component is a necessary element of racism, discussions involving "reverse racism" will be as productive as trying to convince vagina guy that vulvas are a thing.

Thank you, Andi.

Direct quote from his comment: "regardless of your enlarged sense of intelligence...." and then a very condescending section about how because I "don't know" him, I am not an expert on this topic. Despite saying I've spent the past ten years educating myself about it.

He's a condescending asshole and made it out that I was "talking down" to him.

I shouldn't care. But no one has said a thing in my defense, and it's disheartening. I really can't say anything else without stooping to his level, but I'm feeling angry and defensive about the fact he insulted me, white-mansplained racism and had no consequence. Am I seriously the only white person who will call him on his bullshit? Because that's a much bigger issue than my hurt feelings.

I'm so sorry, Pix. I'm not sure which is worse, the personal insult or the knowledge that such people exist in our closest circles. I'm sorry you didn't get backup and that he couldn't hear what you were saying.

I've tried to not engage with family members on such subjects because I know it will only escalate and I have to see them socially in the future. eta: yes I am a non-confrontational coward.