-t, feel better soon.

I'm sorry, -t. Tummy~ma.

I should be productive today since I really wasn't yesterday. I stayed in bed until 8 this morning! Read a couple chapters instead of getting up early as usual. I know better than to try and actually sleep in. I did get up and feed the animals and left the back door open for them. Then back into bed with a book. Whee!

I guess I'll do dishes now.

Oh no, -t! I hope that was a one-off.

Yessss, Laura. That is a good morning!

I did some more cleaning this morning, mostly dishes and vacuuming. I have some friends coming over next weekend, so it's a little more purposeful than it might be....

I also went and got some free Allbirds, thanks to a Facebook group, and I don't like them! Partly I think this pair is a little small for me, but mostly I actually do want more structure in my shoes. So that's good to know.

Gud, I really hope you call 1-800-273-8255.

Tried to say I didn't want her isolating herself this morning, but that didn't go over well. She hit me with a remember-when-you-did-x-bad-thing and I didn't really have a good answer. I'm not sure what to do, partly I'm just fundamentally not a good person and I make mistakes which I really shouldn't.

Maybe I shouldn't be talking about this at all. I don't want to bring the board down with my own problems and failings.

Speaking of the board. I haven't been getting much (i.e. anything) done with the new board lately. New job and personal stuff has been eating up my time. There's not a ton left to do at the moment though.

Gud, you are trying to do good as best you can and that is all any of us can do. I wish you could let go of this idea that you shouldn't make mistakes. Letting your wife isolate herself from the rest of the family for a bit is maybe a pretty good way forward for all of you, really.

Sent an email to everyone above me at work that I will be out tomorrow and rescheduled my dentists appointment to next week. Have successfully kept down almost half a cup of water, feeling good about that!

Gud. You are a good person. Anyone that doesn't think so, including you, is wrong. It is tragic that your wife does not recognize your value, but more tragic that you don't.

Gud, how does it feel to you when we tell you that you are a good person deserving of love and support? What do you think when you read that? I know we can't overcome or make up for all the terrible things your wife says to you, but I fervently hope that you can at least hear and believe us, and trust that we are telling you the truth.

I tried to like that, Kate.

I've been in that game where I am talking about the issue right now, and the other person just says, well, I'm angry about the stupid thing you did 10 years ago!

I finally realized it is never a fair fight when you dredge up the past. Keep to the now and try to work it out and you might get somewhere, complain about the days of yore and you'll have infinite ammunition to be a bitch.

I wonder, does she have a plan other than staying in her room? I'm pretty sure the only other option would be to return to her parents. This is the behavior of an immature, unpleasant person.

So much of your wife's behavior and reaction are on her, Gud. I kind of feel that she may be using you (and the kids) as a handy projection for her own fears and anxieties... and that's a situation that's set up for failure on the part of the projectees, since it's going to be something of a game of Negative Calvinball, where the goalposts are continuously being moved without notice, and the fact that you don't know they've been moved is then held against you.

Perfect is the enemy of good, but it's not just that rule she's applying to herself, but for everyone around her that she can hold accountable. In a totally rational mind, what you and the kids do would be treated with respect and thankfulness, even if the crayon coloring strays a little outside here and there, so to speak. Big mistakes can get made, and can get corrected, but little mistakes are actually =little=.

I feel like she needs a reminder that 'love, honor, and cherish' is a vow that the both of you took.