The cruelest thing that has been done is her making you believe for even a moment that you aren't the loving and responsible father, husband, and citizen that you show yourself to be every day. She is abusive and setting a horrible example for your children.

Gud, what happens when you call her bluff? I mean, point out that she is being too hard on you? Sometimes, breaking the pattern that a person falls into can be a very good thing, in that it helps them see what is really going on.

What is the worst thing that can happen if you text her back: "Let's talk when I get home. I'm turning off my phone now." What would she do?

Every work day, I text Tim around 5 p.m. to see when he thinks he'll be home, because his schedule is irregular and I have anxiety about not knowing when he might have left work and when to expect him home. Most of the time he replies pretty quickly to my texts (because he knows that's how I'm managing my anxiety), but sometimes he misses them for an hour or so, and once in a while his phone battery has died so he couldn't get my text at all.

Here's the thing: when he doesn't reply to my texts right away, or doesn't reply at all, I don't get angry at him. Because I know he's human and sometimes he misses a text and sometimes phone batteries die. Missing a text -- even when he knows that missing a text might make my anxiety worse -- is not proof that he doesn't care about me. It's just a thing that happens to imperfect people.

Gud, your wife is setting up tests for you without even telling you that she's testing you*, and they're rigged from the start anyway, because there is literally no way to pass a test that an abuser sets up. It's set up to prove a point she has already decided is true, and to make you feel like shit because you couldn't pass her impossible test. That's manipulative and abusive. Please tell me she doesn't pull this shit with your children. Please.

*(I mean, if you hit the point where one spouse is setting up secret tests for the other spouse, you're kind of fucked anyway. That's not a marriage, it's a sadistic game.)

I was working on a presentation I may or may not present at tomorrow's 7AM meeting, putting in speaker's notes. Then I realized that I'll be sharing my screen, so that won't work.

So then I started putting the notes into Word, before remembering that Word also shows on the screen.

I'm going to have to put my notes on paper, like a barbarian.

Good thing you have those old-fashioned skills, Dana.

You sound like me when my debit card got hacked very early on a three day weekend. I canceled my card, then at CVS had to write a check for my purchases, like a caveman.

I canceled my card, then at CVS had to write a check for my purchases, like a caveman.

Sometimes my brother and I will go in with my mom on a big present, like for a 50th wedding anniversary, or whatever. Mom is 72 and will never, ever, understand PayPal. So my brother PayPals me his share of the $$, and then I write a check to mom for my share plus my brother's share. It's one of the only checks I write all year.

The only check I write is my rent check. But I do go to all the various websites and manually trigger the electronic payments because I really dislike giving a computer an automatic tab into my checking account. I'm looking at you, Progressive.

I only have one check, in my desk, for an emergency.

Gud- I can't talk about your wife because it literally makes me so angry my head will explode. My BFFs husband is an alcoholic, and before his recovery I felt the same way- I can't really advise because those relations are so personal, and I value my friendship and know that my friends need to make their own decisions and all I can do is support them.

But know that the things your wife seems to be doing to you are al worse than the things my BFFs full fledged alcoholic husband was doing to her. They ended up separating for about a year, and are now back together. It is not perfect, but it was really helpful for her to draw a line in the sand about certain behavior, and she still supported him while he was living on his own. I am now giving you more advice than I ever gave her, but this break ended up being so much better for their kids and for her, and now they are able to have some sort of partnership.

The Saints would have a historic Monday Night Football game the night before one of my 7AM meetings.