the cancer hits Amyth? This is wrong and unjust and I hate it

Exactly. And Calli, I'm so sorry -- I forgot she was on the other side of the wall (just like Sara and Becky in A Little Princess!).

We joked that we both wanted to retire to NYC -- public transport, walkable, art, culture, books!, food -- and that we should find a place together. I really, really wish that could happen.

She, and I, and two of our neighbors have been this group of four

Part of what's breaking in me is all the years I've seen your little group of neighbor/friends together (who are all spirit Buffistas, even the ones who aren't literal Buffistas) and how you've all made this great found family of smart creative kind nerdery, and it feels like there's another community I know feeling the same loss that we are (and that we all are as individuals as well). And I also think of meeting up with Amyth and her friends G+T in New York, and how they're another delightful set of beautiful souls whom I also wouldn't have known if she weren't a part of that family. Circles and circles, rippling out around one lovely person.

We joked that we both wanted to retire to NYC -- public transport, walkable, art, culture, books!, food -- and that we should find a place together. I really, really wish that could happen.

Me, too. We talked about her showing me her favorite parts of NYC, but either I was booked with family stuff or work stuff or unemployed and hoarding my pennies, or Amyth was busy so it never happened. Damnit.

Calli, so much love and strength to you right now. Amyth's influence and kindness are far-reaching and I treasure the too-few times I was able to spend with her.

Thank you, amych and Maria. Amyth has a huge group of friends here from high school, college, work, and the board. She’s one of those people who makes friends and keeps them, because she’s loving and kind and care-full—as in, full of caring. I’m so glad I‘ve been able to meet Amych and both the board and non-board people in her circles.

Ah, I'm extra sorry, Calli.

I'm sorry, Calli. It's profoundly unfair, and it's hard to get past the anger, at least for me.

I'm sorry, Maria.

She’s one of those people who makes friends and keeps them, because she’s loving and kind and care-full—as in, full of caring.

That's what I was just thinking about, caring. She cares deeply and radiates that caring. I'm sorry, Calli, and thank you for putting in words what I was thinking about.

Amyth and I bonded at the DCF2F and visited each other many times in the sixteen (!) years since, including a memorable trip to Nashville with a few other Buffistas, where we stayed in a hotel that I now drive past every day on my commute to & from school. She and my husband bonded over losing a sibling after his brother's death, and he reminded me last night that on that same trip, she helped us pick out our cat Chesterfield from the shelter. Not to mention all the fandoms she brought me into...

I'm going to miss her so much. And I'm doubly sorry for those who got to see her in their daily lives, who will feel her absence even more keenly. I can't believe this is real.

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