Laura, I am so sorry.

I just got a call that an industry friend passed away this morning. Heart attack. He was a brilliant writer and editor, and while I'm going to miss working with him, I'll miss him as a person even more.

Seriously, fuck this year.

I don’t talk about it much here, but Amyth’s been my next door neighbor for several years now. She, and I, and two of our neighbors have been this group of four, where we go to movies, hang out in each other’s apartments, and one memorable fall, travelled to France. I hate the thought that I’m not going to see Amyth in the parking lot or text each other about silly university stuff or exchange cat stories. I’m a single, middle aged cat lady alone in an apartment, but there’s this great person on the other side of the wall even when we’re not hanging out. I want to hear Amyth make plans for her retirement and tell me stories about visiting her niece and see her get passionate about things like Girls Rock. In a country full of Nazis and people who cheer putting refugee children in cages, the cancer hits Amyth? This is wrong and unjust and I hate it.

My roommate was all “ooh I found a great apartment I’m going to move out before thanksgiving” and I was like “great”. Today she’s all “shit I got scammed”. Apparently she hadn’t actually been to the apartment in person (!!!) and believed the person when they were like “we moved to la and decided to rent out our apartment but don’t have a property manager, sign this lease and PayPal us first months rent”. And she did. THEN she googled and realized it was a scam.

Timelies all!

Once again, fuck cancer and fuck 2020.

the cancer hits Amyth? This is wrong and unjust and I hate it

Exactly. And Calli, I'm so sorry -- I forgot she was on the other side of the wall (just like Sara and Becky in A Little Princess!).

We joked that we both wanted to retire to NYC -- public transport, walkable, art, culture, books!, food -- and that we should find a place together. I really, really wish that could happen.

She, and I, and two of our neighbors have been this group of four

Part of what's breaking in me is all the years I've seen your little group of neighbor/friends together (who are all spirit Buffistas, even the ones who aren't literal Buffistas) and how you've all made this great found family of smart creative kind nerdery, and it feels like there's another community I know feeling the same loss that we are (and that we all are as individuals as well). And I also think of meeting up with Amyth and her friends G+T in New York, and how they're another delightful set of beautiful souls whom I also wouldn't have known if she weren't a part of that family. Circles and circles, rippling out around one lovely person.

We joked that we both wanted to retire to NYC -- public transport, walkable, art, culture, books!, food -- and that we should find a place together. I really, really wish that could happen.

Me, too. We talked about her showing me her favorite parts of NYC, but either I was booked with family stuff or work stuff or unemployed and hoarding my pennies, or Amyth was busy so it never happened. Damnit.

Calli, so much love and strength to you right now. Amyth's influence and kindness are far-reaching and I treasure the too-few times I was able to spend with her.

Thank you, amych and Maria. Amyth has a huge group of friends here from high school, college, work, and the board. She’s one of those people who makes friends and keeps them, because she’s loving and kind and care-full—as in, full of caring. I’m so glad I‘ve been able to meet Amych and both the board and non-board people in her circles.

Ah, I'm extra sorry, Calli.