next event: shock collar, duct tape, whip, bullhorn, taser.

Yes, that would work too.

Need a non-political distraction? Who knows houseplants? I'm trying to add some plants to my apartment and I've been looking into cat-safe, low-light options but I failed to one thing into account. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to the bromeliad that I bought. This morning I moved it to the laundry room and I've got a couple of air purifiers with new filters going and I'm already sneezing less. Is there another good option for a plant that can sit on a shelf and not kill me or the cats?

I saw a cartoon of the moderator's desk for the next event: shock collar, duct tape, whip, bullhorn, taser. Sounds about right.

SuperSoaker. He's terrified of his hair getting wet.

I find this amusing - it's Anna Russell giving you the entire Ring Cycle in a little under 22 minutes (as opposed to the 20 hours or so if you actually sit through it). From a 1953 show she did (she was an actual opera singer). Not a video of her, but with lots of pictures of Rackham illustrations, the original viking helmets with stuff stuck on and some that are modern, but I'm not sure where they're from.

Winning quote: "I'm not making this up, you know."

Slime would work better than a SuperSoaker, because you know he's using the cheap spray-on tan. A SuporSoaker would make the stuff run, while Slime would make it change color AND fuck up the texture.

Actually, I saw something about what he does use - it's a liquid concealer, not a spray-on tan. It's orange because, seemingly, an orange concealer works on dark circles and blemishes on pale skin.

Actually, I saw something about what he does use - it's a liquid concealer, not a spray-on tan. It's orange because, seemingly, an orange concealer works on dark circles and blemishes on pale skin.

Orange concealer needs to be applied with a light hand, and then layered under a non-orange foundation and translucent powder. And even then it needs a lot of blending.

I really hope the poor makeup person who works for him is deliberately doing this to him. That would make me so happy.

Or, if he's as germophobic as I've heard, he does it himself ... which would explain how badly it's done. I do like the idea of someone deliberately doing it badly, though.

Thank you, Toddson. My mom loved Anna Russell and I haven't heard her Ring Cycle in years. So great to hear it again.

I love her too ... I always think opera plots are like a Christmas tree - if it's thin in one spot, throw a lot of glittery music over there. The Ring Cycle ... when she explains it you see just how weird it is.