It has been a rough few days. I got sick Wednesday and have high fevers for a good amount of time. I got up to just under 106 on Friday. What I know is that it isn't COVID, and it isn't influenza.

My wife is pretty angry with me right now which makes everything harder. I don't try to get sick. Then last night I fucked up by fixing my laptop, saying that if I do have to go to the hospital that I would like it working right. Well, she was really pissed that I was putting that before things like making sure she had all the info she needed to pay bills and stuff and maybe she has a point. Maybe I don't care about anyone but me. At that point everything I said seemed to be wrong so I just decided it was best to shut up.

In a way I was disappointed it wasn't COVID because if I died my family would probably be better off. Well not financially, but maybe my wife could remarry with someone who is a decent human being.

She just went to get some dinner. I offered to do it by she didn't take me up on it. I think she's pretty pissed that I messed up her dinner plans, though I'm not sure how I did it. I just fuck things up all over the place.

Fuck your wife, Gud. Seriously. Anyone who's angry at someone with a fever of 106 (!) is not a good human being.

And that is like the lowest possible bar! Don't be actively cruel to someone who's so sick! But she can't do it.

What if she's right and I am just a jerk. I dunno. At least I'm not doing as bad now. Been between 100-104 today, though I'm not feeling 100% there mentally.

Oh, Gud. I'm sorry you are sick. Nobody could be better off without you than with you and I'm so sorry you feel like that's a possibility. Hang in there as best you can.

Most important Gud -- have you seen a doctor? A fever as high as 104 is serious, no matter if it ISN"T Covid. You are not going to be able to think straight if you have a high fever (people get hallucinations for a reason, seriously) so your thinking is impaired.

Fever of 106 is GET YOUR ASS INTO AN ER AND LET YOUR WORTHLESS SHREW OF A WIFE DEAL WITH IT time, Gud.

Oh Gud, honey, don't do this to yourself.

...just under 106 on Friday...between 100-104 today

Yikes.

Rest. Fluids. You know the drill.

I'm not feeling 100% there mentally.

I had a fever one night early last April (common side effect of a treatment I had just received to prevent bone density loss) that briefly hit 100° F and I could barely get from my bed to the bathroom. And you're trying to fix a laptop? Wow.

And I emphatically second all that Theodosia posted just above.