It was my first time actually going in and shopping since all this, I've been doing pick-up or delivery, and all that being aware of where everyone else was and which way the aisles were supposed to go on top of the usual stresses of grocery shopping (it's never my favorite thing to do) really wore me out.

Tornado warning is over. We have a tornado watch until 10 and a severe thunderstorm warning until 8:45.

We spent most of the warning hunkered down in the bathroom so that was interesting. And not something I want to repeat.

But that is kinda where I am.

That's a good plan. Aside from everything else, it just doesn't sound like a good living situation for you with Matthew's mom there. You basically have to hide away to get any peace. And being at home should be a place that *gives* you energy, and lets you restore.

I went actually inside a grocery store this morning and that has sapped my will to do anything else the rest of the day.

Mr. Loomy went grocery shopping this week, and not only did it wipe him out for the rest of the day, but he now knows that wearing a mask triggers all his claustrophobia issues, which makes him not be able to breathe deeply, and sets off a massive panic attack.

ION, I left the house! We went for a drive! I haven't left the house since ... March 8th, for Dad's birthday lunch, so this was weirdly exciting.

(I had Mr. Loomy take a photo of me so I can post it to my office's WFH slack channel to prove I don't immediately burst into flame upon contact with sunlight.)

Matthew is a very caring and loving person and I do care for him and love him but he lacks a certain amount of ambition and he is in no real hurry to move out and I need to be out of this house. And part of me hiding away is that ... I have a desktop not a laptop so I'm not mobile but even if I was almost all of his day is playing Xbox and I don't want to just sit on the couch and be there while he is yelling at the game.

Matthew is a very caring and loving person and I do care for him and love him but he lacks a certain amount of ambition and he is in no real hurry to move out and I need to be out of this house.

He does sound sweet, and I'm sorry to be critical. But I am eager for you to have a better living situation, and I think you deserve something more from your partner if you want to build a life with them. Anyway, I know you're working on it and have a lot of constraints to finesse.

I know David, it's just one of those things where I know this but then I feel protective at the same time. But I also don't want to give the impression I'm stuck where I'm being mistreated, when it's just more of unmatched wants and needs.

I think when we met we were closer to the same spot but then I had a lot of things change and I changed. I mean 3 years ago I still had so much self doubt and so much lower self esteem and more self loathing and I've really moved past that.

Not getting what you need from your partner isn't necessarily an indictment of them, it can just be incompatible aims and lifestyles. Like, if a couple disagrees over the issue of children neither one of them is the villain, but it's very difficult to build a life together that will work for both.

(I had Mr. Loomy take a photo of me so I can post it to my office's WFH slack channel to prove I don't immediately burst into flame upon contact with sunlight.)

Of course not Jilli, that would be following johnny-come lately cinematic trends. You have respect for tradition.

They can be good, kind people you love - but love isn't enough.

This is some good writing, here. My friends who own a restaurant down the hill sent it to me, and I know Lena and Alice are nodding along with every word of it.