I'm trying to embrace the ethos of "our best is all we can do."

Because no one has any spoons at the moment; certainly not enough to actually do everything that needs to be done. So, we will put on our adult (inside) pants and do what we can without killing ourselves because this is apparently gonna be A Year, and we're in it for the long haul.

I have a nearly-full package of foil star stickers and I will send one to anyone who needs it.

There's a theory of bureaucracy -- I forget what it's called, but basically the idea is that you make applying for benefits (or jobs, or lotteries, or college) sufficiently difficult that only some people meet all the requirements on paper (even though many more people actually would meet the requirements, they just can't prove it). And then you don't have to pay out!

I learned this when I applied for UI in California about 7 years ago, and I couldn't believe how difficult it was. I'm a native English speaker with an advanced degree and lots of experience with bureaucracy--and I struggled and got it wrong and had them reject at least one of my claims.

So what I'm saying, Askye, is that it's not you: the system is designed to be difficult and confusing intentionally, in order to limit the amount of people who benefit. Do not take any difficulties as a statement on your ability -- it is not. The people who design these systems see their complexity as a feature rather than a bug. They do it on purpose.

Hack for wearing masks and glasses: fold up a piece of Kleenex into quarters length wise. Place it over the nose bridge on the inside. Staple or tape to hold in place. It will absorb some of your breath's moisture and break it up before glasses fog up. It works for me!

the idea is that you make applying for benefits (or jobs, or lotteries, or college) sufficiently difficult that only some people

Infamously, that's exactly how then Gov., now Sen. Rick Scott set up unemployment in Florida which is why it's a total shit show now.

Today, going through my dad's hall closet, I found a giant department store bag full of almost 30 years of photos all in a jumble of Fotomat envelopes and loose pictures and orphaned negatives and one crisp slide from 1958 and most of his elementary school class rosters, all of which are now mostly organized by year with the orphans, stuck-togethers and undated pictures of people I don't recognize set aside in their own separate containers.

I came away from the afternoon with two revelations: (1) My little brothers were unbelievably cute babies and toddlers, and (2) most people who knew our dad, if they had to guess what physical entity is lopsidedly overrepresented in this chaotic photo collection, would say golf tournaments or cars. Nope: it's cats. A good 3-4 times more pictures of his cats than anything else. This chaos bag ends at about 1996, so it's possible there's a newer chaos bag somewhere else full of nothing but jumbled-up grandchildren pictures, but from 1973 to a couple years after my youngest brother graduated from college there are waaaay more cats than any other single subject.

Nope: it's cats. A good 3-4 times more pictures of his cats than anything else. This chaos bag ends at about 1996, so it's possible there's a newer chaos bag somewhere else full of nothing but jumbled-up grandchildren pictures, but from 1973 to a couple years after my youngest brother graduated from college there are waaaay more cats than any other single subject.

I am so charmed by this.

That's so truly sweet JZ.

I am charmed by this as well.

Consuela I keep telling myself at least Im not still in FL. .

And last night I accidentally killed my computer headset. I felt something tug as I moved and then silence. Matthew's works so I know it's the headset and not the computer. It was just a cheap headset we started selling around Christmas and I can order another one at the same price so I'll just have to wait until it will arrive.

But in good news I figured out if I take the med at 8 I get sleepy around 10:30 and then wake up with my alarm at 7 and don't feel dopey.

I talked to Mom this morning. I thought she had lost power and gotten it back but she has not and there is a downed power line across the shortest way for her to get to the main road. So she's had no power or water for over 24 hours and can't find any info on when she will get it back. She's going to try and call the power company.

And I can't even say hey just drive down here and hang out /take a shower because of the stupid pandemic

So there is a local company giving away free paper masks 10 to a car. And I went to where they are giving them out and I literally couldn't not figure out how to get in the line to get them. They had cones blocking sections of a parking lot off but no signs or people directing anyone and between buildings and it being on a hill I couldn't figure it out. I tried following a car but they were doing something else at the location.

It makes me feel so stupid because I could see cars leaving and so I know thete is a way but I just couldn't figure it out. And this on top of the unemployment thing has got me to a mini meltdown. Why can't my brain just work like normal. I know the route to that drive thru line has to be obvious to most people but I just can't see it