Yeah, I would totally understand if they informed us they were buying urns. Picking your own. But have us pick it...as our Christmas present to them?

ND, I've never had to handle that before, I'm sorry it was hard. Do they make you pick right then for display-during-funeral type purposes? Or are you required to pick one to take them home?

My mom died just before Valentines Day and funeral home was so happy to give us her ashes in a pink, heart-shaped box instead of the plain brown one we'd paid for. Mom was SOOO not a pink heart type of person. I had a hard time not howling with laughter, but they were so sincere.

bennett, I am picturing a candy box and I'm sure it was nothing like that, but -

Timelies all!

Sleep...I need sleep. Not going to get any extra, though.

OMG, amyparker, that's not what I was envisioning, but it sure is now!!

Sadly, a candy box was pretty close - a little thicker than most, but that's the only difference. So not my Mom.

I'm sorry! *was replying to meara, but it fits both of the previous comments*

Do they make you pick right then for display-during-funeral type purposes? Or are you required to pick one to take them home?

You don't have to do anything right now. It's just one of so many decisions that have to be made, all of them are part of the process. My folks were very organized and had so much already taken care of, but there are still just so many decisions, and all of them have finality to them, given the circumstances.

My mother kept my father's cremains in the cardboard box they came in before having them interred in a veterans' cemetary (not Arlington). My sister - who handled our mother's cremation and had the ashes interred with our father's - has a special box in which she keeps the ashes of the cats that have predeceased her (three now, I believe) that she plans to have interred with her. I kind of hope I don't have to deal with this.

I totally do not want to deal with this. I believe my mom has made arrangements, and that she wishes to be cremated and have no calling hours, funeral or burial. She does NOT want to be the center of attention and can imagine nothing worse than making people endure that after her death. I guess I might end up with the ashes? My grandparents have a gravestone where there ashes are. My aunt has my uncles and has sort of been placing them in various areas outside. My grandma and grandpa wanted no calling hours, and we just had a brief family only ceremony and which my cousin and I got into a giggle loop because my grandma wanted a mass, but since we weren't in a church there were no missels so you knew what to say in response! And there were only five or so of us, and no one was raised religiously, so just mumbling was not an option. So the priest had to act like a folk singer at a sing along and TELL us what we were supposed to say. It was so awkward and we just almost keeled over trying not to laugh, while my more uptight cousins just glared at us.

I also have an single uncle with no other family, and now my uncle's widow with no children of her own (giggle cousin is technically her step son, but he was over 30 when she came into the picture) Luckily giggle cousin seems to have married into (fairly recently) a family with a young person! WHO comes to family events. And acts like a normal person and knows how to do things. She was invaluable when my uncle passed, and she now has a cute little baby.