You're the second person I know that got a leukemia diagnosis very something else and they felt completely fine (my college bff had a dental visit and mouth started bleeding that night would not stop - that was almost 25 years ago now and she's well.)

We will absolutely be here for venting and distraction.

I am stunned and texted you (I thought today was the 8th and was angry no one told me for 2 days! Alas!) I know people who've had and who have it, and I'm sending every good thought that yours is the easily treatable kind. Love you!

Dammit, cancer, LEAVE GOOD PEOPLE ALONE. Amyth, thinking about you and sending you healing vibes. I'm glad you are somewhere with support and good treatment but so sorry this is happening.

I was wondering if you'd found out because of getting the kidney stones treated, amyth. Go, kidney stones, I guess? So glad you've got Calli there to take care of things at home and that your friends are on their way.

I can only add my sincerest best wishes to everyone else's.

Me too.

Oh amyth, that is a LOT to wrap your head around. So much health~ma to you. I'm glad you have such good support around you.

While I still have the energy to complain about the mundane (because I expect that won't last), I just realized all of the things I'll be missing (besides all of my projects at work, all of the presentations I was supposed to give, all of my volunteer responsibilities, missing my great nephew's second birthday, and missing Thanksgiving in New York):

I was supposed to celebrate my bff's birthday this weekend, delayed from October, with her daughters; I had a ticket to see Parasite on Saturday; a ticket to see Cory Branan Sunday night; my beloved book club is getting together November 17 for karaoke and a book exchange; I have a ticket to see the filmed version Phoebe Waller-Bridge's stage version of Fleabag on Nov. 18; on Nov. 23 is the 22nd year that my closest group of friends have gathered for Friends' Thanksgiving. I have never missed it.

All of this sucks.

But: I haven't given up on grad school quite yet. I'm so close to the end of the semester. And I felt so good about how I was doing, that I applied and got in, and what I would've written in a Delurking post was how transformative this year has been for me after letting my mother's death from cancer when I was 18 lead me to failing out of college and then lead me to feeling like I was a failure at life for so long, and then my father's long, protracted passive suicide following her death, which led to me feeling like I let him die and didn't deserve anything good for so long, and how I'd finally, finally forgiven myself and started defining myself by possibilities instead of my perceived limitations...I would've written that, I was going to write that. Only to have it all ripped out from under me by leukemia, which is so closely related to the multiple myeloma that killed my mother in the first place is just...poetic. But! I almost made it through the semester and I'm going to try and see it through if I can. I hope I can.

My brother is coming tomorrow, too.

I need to focus on what matters. The love of my friends and family and my dear Buffistas. Saving my strength and energy for what's important.

I'm wearing my Elizabeth Warren t-shirt right now. Because she'd expect me to fight.

You're up ro this fight, Amyth.

Oh Amy. Jeez. I was wondering if the kidney stone thing was related, but how freaky that you wouldn't have otherwise been diagnosed!!! And sucky that you'll be missing fun stuff. But I'm so glad they caught it now, rather than later when you maybe would be symptomatic? And I'm so glad you have friends and family who are able to come help you!