Me too.

Oh amyth, that is a LOT to wrap your head around. So much health~ma to you. I'm glad you have such good support around you.

While I still have the energy to complain about the mundane (because I expect that won't last), I just realized all of the things I'll be missing (besides all of my projects at work, all of the presentations I was supposed to give, all of my volunteer responsibilities, missing my great nephew's second birthday, and missing Thanksgiving in New York):

I was supposed to celebrate my bff's birthday this weekend, delayed from October, with her daughters; I had a ticket to see Parasite on Saturday; a ticket to see Cory Branan Sunday night; my beloved book club is getting together November 17 for karaoke and a book exchange; I have a ticket to see the filmed version Phoebe Waller-Bridge's stage version of Fleabag on Nov. 18; on Nov. 23 is the 22nd year that my closest group of friends have gathered for Friends' Thanksgiving. I have never missed it.

All of this sucks.

But: I haven't given up on grad school quite yet. I'm so close to the end of the semester. And I felt so good about how I was doing, that I applied and got in, and what I would've written in a Delurking post was how transformative this year has been for me after letting my mother's death from cancer when I was 18 lead me to failing out of college and then lead me to feeling like I was a failure at life for so long, and then my father's long, protracted passive suicide following her death, which led to me feeling like I let him die and didn't deserve anything good for so long, and how I'd finally, finally forgiven myself and started defining myself by possibilities instead of my perceived limitations...I would've written that, I was going to write that. Only to have it all ripped out from under me by leukemia, which is so closely related to the multiple myeloma that killed my mother in the first place is just...poetic. But! I almost made it through the semester and I'm going to try and see it through if I can. I hope I can.

My brother is coming tomorrow, too.

I need to focus on what matters. The love of my friends and family and my dear Buffistas. Saving my strength and energy for what's important.

I'm wearing my Elizabeth Warren t-shirt right now. Because she'd expect me to fight.

You're up ro this fight, Amyth.

Oh Amy. Jeez. I was wondering if the kidney stone thing was related, but how freaky that you wouldn't have otherwise been diagnosed!!! And sucky that you'll be missing fun stuff. But I'm so glad they caught it now, rather than later when you maybe would be symptomatic? And I'm so glad you have friends and family who are able to come help you!

{{{amyth}}} Oh my, love. That's so bloody much, and I am so sorry. All the health~ma and love~ma goes to you, and as everyone said - just let us know what you need.

And may cancer get the f away from you as quickly as possible.

I haven't given up on grad school quite yet. I'm so close to the end of the semester.

Absolutely. I hope they will work with you as needed to finish the semester.

Attitude, loving support, and competent medical care are what you need to conquer this and I think you have it covered. It may be too soon to know what you need, but I expect you have known us long enough to understand we mean it when we say, we got you.

{{{a myth}}}. (Whoops but I am going to leave it because I remember discussing whether you were pronounced a myth or Amy th.

I wish you all the best and also want you to know that because of your determination to see grad school through, I started seriously looking into the Instructional Design graduate certificate program at Stout (UMich) which was recommended. The credits then transfer to an MS in Education as electives.

In other news- still no key! Still no date on inspection! I sent of an email asking politely if there was an ETA on either. I am trying to be really nice and thankful and appalled at myself, even though Maria (and I bet some of you would be more demanding. Just feeling these people out, I think having them empathize with me will get me further and they are letting me stay in the apartment.

Serial: They are sending someone over with a key, leaving it the mailbox for me and "inspecting" I think it looks good ish...

Glad to hear it, Sophia!

Suri recommended I text my mom for her birthday this morning. And I did, along with a note that Suri told me to because I thought that was funny. I hope Mom agrees.