I feel good, and a little tears. I am afraid of crashing so I am actually taking it easy today. My body is beginning to wear out a bit. There isn't a lot I can do until after Thursday, so I am washing my cleaning clothes and putting my staging area in order.

That sounds like a good call.

That all sounds excellent, Sophia! And a little practice taking it easy and then pursuing a sustainable routine sounds like a good thing for right now, also.

You're rocking this, Sophia.

I successfully had another round of Botox and did not almost pass out this time. Yay.

BTW, I am at work, our power is on (as is mine at home) although the Vallejo office is still on a generator so some departments are still being asked not to come in. The local-to-me fire is still burning but not endangering any structures or people, so it's impact is mostly a lot of smoke.

Yay Dana. Power.

Sophia is Thursday when the cleaners come? Or when you get a dumpster?

I am feeling so out of it—yesterday I tried to check in for my flight on Thursday and couldn't figure out why it wouldn't let me.

Are colored contacts ridiculous? They're something I could never have before since they didn't make them in my prescription, but since I had surgery a few years ago, I can now...but would that be ridiculous?

Go Dana!

I wouldn't say ridiculous, meara. Sounds like a fun thing to play with to me.

Thursday is when the cleaners come to fill the dumpster (which I already have, because in a panic I ordered the dumpster before I got the cleaners!). I have too many stairs to really take this much out myself.

After that, I will need to clean the places where the bags were, although I am having them wash the wall and ceiling in the biggest room and the kitchen floor. I did the kitchen, bathroom and hall myself with the swiffer, but I think it might kill me to do the big room. The bedroom has actually been shut up for several years, so once the bags are out of there, it shouldn't be bad to clean

I am going to shampoo my own rugs Saturday, I think.

Sophia, I am in awe of you. Your courage in opening up here, your incredibly hard work tackling your home, your visit to the therapist — I know it's been awful for you, yet you are doing it. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of shame, and while I get where that comes from, I hope you also can feel a sense of pride in what you've accomplished since you had to face this. Kudos to you. No matter what happens next, you are making important changes in your life.