I wouldn't say ridiculous, meara. Sounds like a fun thing to play with to me.

Thursday is when the cleaners come to fill the dumpster (which I already have, because in a panic I ordered the dumpster before I got the cleaners!). I have too many stairs to really take this much out myself.

After that, I will need to clean the places where the bags were, although I am having them wash the wall and ceiling in the biggest room and the kitchen floor. I did the kitchen, bathroom and hall myself with the swiffer, but I think it might kill me to do the big room. The bedroom has actually been shut up for several years, so once the bags are out of there, it shouldn't be bad to clean

I am going to shampoo my own rugs Saturday, I think.

Sophia, I am in awe of you. Your courage in opening up here, your incredibly hard work tackling your home, your visit to the therapist — I know it's been awful for you, yet you are doing it. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of shame, and while I get where that comes from, I hope you also can feel a sense of pride in what you've accomplished since you had to face this. Kudos to you. No matter what happens next, you are making important changes in your life.

Wow, you are rocking it, Sophia!

I don't know what I would have done without you guys to open up to. I am more comfortable writing than talking. I am really hoping that the cleaning is going to be a relief and I don't find even more stuff that I can't get done!

Also, if I ever have to do this again (please god no, except I will eventually probably have to clean my moms house) I will wash all the floors myself and pay them to wash the ceilings! Washing the kitchen curling was for the birds!

Good for you, Sophia. Also, everything Pix said. You have made stunning progress.

Amy, Zen & Beverly, my son's doing okay. We saw his surgeon last Thursday, and he was released two weeks ago today, so we're still early on.

There are little symptoms here and there and we don't know what to make of them. We see his gastro this Friday. I'm hopeful we'll come away from that appointment with a better idea of what is normal/to be expected. He still gets very tired, but nutrition absorption is a problem with this disease, and more so in post-surgical patients.

We see a gastro nutritionist on Monday, and I'm really looking forward to that. Because he was on a liquid diet from July until after the October surgery, and then had to start out on soft and bland foods, we're not now confident on what is okay for him to eat now. Crohn's is an inflammatory disease, but a lot of anti-inflammatory foods haven't been an option for him in the past, because of the state of his gut.

I'm grateful he is doing as well as he is, but I'm also really uneasy.

It's really hard to relax after any sort of crisis, so both of you, Cindy and Sophia, I wish you the ability to relax and accept whatever now is, for right now, instead of anticipating. Great improvements have been made, in both your lives. And there will be further changes and adjustments--but those are in the future, so take a breath, and be fully aware of how better things are now. You've earned that.

And--okay sorry to sound like a canned ad or something.

I am so glad your son is doing better! Is he the one who ate the white thing that looked like a tooth?

I think I will still feel in crisis until the city inspector passes the apartment. I mean, I think he will- my landlord is invested in me staying (because he would probably have to replace the flooring to rent it- it was old and gross before I moved in over ten years ago. It was probably last replaced in the 70s. And the appliances are probably from the 80s.)

I think clearing out the apartment will be enough, because the problem was that it was a fire hazard (and frankly right now still is until the bags are out.). So that will be taken care of Thursday.

That all sounds promising, Cindy -- good luck with the gastro.