{{{Sophia}}} It sounds like you're making amazing progress. I'm sorry it's so overwhelming and I wish one, or some, or many of us lived closer and could actually help instead of just throwing money from afar.

Re anxiety: I treat mine as if it were a fretful child. I listen to it and validate its feelings but remind it that it's not the grown-up in charge and it can trust me to take care of it and handle the situation. My current therapist helped me work this out, and it doesn't always work, but it works a lot better than anything used to.

THat sounds like an excellent approach, JZ.

BTW, I met my new neighbor across the street when I got home from work and she seems nice so maybe I will be less apprehensive about being seen in my front yard in the future? Could happen.

I...don't understand being afraid of neighbors seeing you. I like seeing my neighbors? But I am very lazy about taking out the trash for no good reason.

I laughed at Hecs story, and yay Jesse making more money, but I can't imagine paying $10 for holiday cards, and hugs to Flea because that sounds rough. My BFF got to town this morning and we went for a long walk in lovely weather and then I had my local friends over for dinner and it was nice. This weekend should be great.

(sarcastically) Thanks, David. I just snorted so hard DH woke up.

Bah-haw-haw, I fell down, down, down cuz balls of Fire.

In Florida I go outside with the trash, dog, or whatever reason in what can only be described as absolutely inside only clothes all the time. It is a family joke as I peak out the window looking both ways to bet on whether I make it to the curb and back without neighbors catching me. Same thing up here in Otter Lake, except in Florida the outfits are more like camisoles and gym shorts while here it is many layers of mismatched sweats, sweaters, and jammies. I met my new neighbor here a couple days ago in my fluffy pink robe, sweatpants and crocks. I am total what ya see is what ya get girl, also zero modesty. When Mom was alive I would walk over the path through the woods to her place next door every morning to share a cup of tea and amuse her with whatever combo of pajamas and jacket/sweater and slippers. If neighbors happened to drive or walk by I would smile and wave. Zero shame.

I'm lucky I don't have the neighbor phobia, because my front door is right next to the door from the upstairs apartments, which everyone comes through to get to the parking lot, which is essentially my front yard. And I want to smoke, I need to stand outside my door, so I see my neighbors all. the. time. It does get embarrassing when it seems like every time a particular person comes and goes, I'm there, smoking.

And we have one new tenant who wants to talk to me every time she sees me, and this is very much a Do Not Want situation.

I try to avoid the neighbors if I run outside looking like a total hobo. But there's always the possibility I'll get to pet a dog, so that's a fair tradeoff for getting caught looking like a hobo.

Took trash out today in pjs with a short t-shirt material robe over and clogs.

I put some trash out every week even if it is just a grocery bag full, just to get in the habit of doing it every week (since in ny it was a trash shute in the hall by the elevator and taking small bags out as you left was super easy). It does help that putting it out is the same path as going to garage. In Baltimore with a detached garage, trash goes to the front of the house while I'll go to the back of the house for the car. Will take some getting used to.

I wouldn't mind neighbors in another house at all? I don't mind apartment complexes with hallways. I think it is she shared front porch thing that gets me, and I pretty much have always had it. I think even a separate entrance would do a lot.

I feel a little like I am ceiling cat in Terriers, but it is not my brothers house. I am just this entity in the second floor of their house.

I applied for a loan against my retirement account, so I am feeling better about the money thing. I wish I'd thought of it earlier. I am only afraid they will ask for my birth certificate or social security card, which I do not have (or rather, it is somewhere here, but not at all where I thought it was). I can't find any information on what documentation I will need. I have to wait until it is out of pending and in to the documentation phase.

I'm pretty unselfconscious about being seen in wackadoo outfits but I don't like the idea of my neighbors seeing me without a bra.

That's great progress, Sophia!