Cindy thanks for the insight. I don't think that his brother was trying to pressure me so much as reassure me that his church isn't like the others and I would like it.

I don't think he was regularly attending church until after their father died suddenly in spring of 2017. And then to have someone have a seizure in front of him just...I know inviting me was a way of trying to take care of people he cares about.

It was just bad timing and he didnt know I have Issues about this.

Matthew's brother and sister are conservative and I don't know how they feel about certain things so I was trying to avoid saying I didn't want to try to attend a church that would be anti gay and or possibly less accepting than I expect a church should be.

Sue I am shaking pom-poms for your antivirals.

As a disease, anxiety needs to go fuck itself with a rusty chainsaw. I can't hold Harvey without screaming and crying. (Imagine trying to hold Sammie the unholdable to clean crap out of her fur after she came out of the litterbox with chunks stuck on while having an anxiety attack) I signed up to do stuff with that Red2Blue thing linked here, but I can,t figure out how to do anything. So I'm not getting anything useful done. The way my anxiety has been out of control, GOTV efforts that involve dealing with people in anything remotely like real time would be... not of the good. I tried to sign up to do postcards with someplace last week and got no response. I'm so sorry. I can't.

At this point, if I didn't have a consult with an actual psychiatrist on Monday morning, I would probably be willing to take myself off to the hospital.

WS - be kind with yourself. You do not need to be doing more if it is not where you are right now. Try to get on a good sleep schedule, drink lots of water, eat some good meals, and do the work that is required of you and nothing more. That is enough. You are enough. You are doing enough.

New motivation to declutter house: getting ready to hide people.

Oh, msbelle, your words made me cry. At least this cry is "somebody said something nice" tears.

Hi, Buffistas? Lots of love and ~ma to you (especially to meara, WS, and Vonnie and neighbors, but I've been skipping and skimming so it's extended to others as needed).

This Tuesday we are having municipal elections all over the country, and I'll be working as ballot box secretary (here it means to organize the place where the voting will take place, recognizing the people who are supposed to vote in that ballot box by ID, and solve issues if they arise. It also means that I am supposed to be there from 6:30 am to 22:00 pm, stay for the process of counting the votes, re-arrange the place back into a classroom, and get that ballot box back to city hall). While I am mostly doing this for the money (it is my budget to get a new bed), stories from the US made me aware just how much it is important. There is only one group of population I can think of that sometimes is having trouble to vote for lack of a fixed address (Bedouins), so it kind of escaped me. While the voting % isn't that high, it is a sabbatical day so that people will be able to vote, and the ballot boxes are open from 7:00 am to 22:00 pm.

In other news, I am moving in December and only now am able to search for places as only now there are ads for apartments that will be available in December. I suspect I will continue to be stressed about it until I will find a new place with a nice and good and not a serial killing roommate (no budget to live on my own in a place that isn't an abandoned warehouse in this city, I'm afraid).

Hang in the there, WindSparrow. Monday is tomorrow.

{{WindSparrow}} FWIW, I also signed up for Red2Blue and although I am sure I was following the directions never managed to get texting. I didn't get too bummed about it when I saw the vast numbers of successful volunteers. Also, I have received about 10 texts myself from various organizations, so I feel good about the GOTV efforts in general. Also, you do so much for so many. All of us here have been comforted by you so many times. Take care of yourself and know that loving thoughts are being sent your way.

The Pittsburgh mayor is reminding me why I loved living in Pgh so much. The only place where I couldn't see the ocean that I would consider living in again. My heart breaks for them. eta: and at the same time I know they will come together as a community to comfort each other.

WS, do what you can. If what you can do is take care of yourself, that's the most important thing. I'm at the point of waiting to see how the midterms turn out, and if my anxiety doesn't go down, I'm off to my psych for more meds. Which I kind of hate, because I've been relatively stable for a long while, and this makes me feel like a failure. But I'm damn well going to need it for another two horrible years.

WS you have to take care of your self first. Like the instructions for airplane oxygen masks...get yourself secured and then help others.

Also what you do every day for this in your care is amazing. You bring so much joy and light to the world.

I haven't done anything for get out the vote. Except bug Matthew about voting.