aurelia, based on my recent experience, say yes -- if you predecease your parents it will be one less decision they have to make (and even if you pass at 110, whoever is around doesn't have to find you a plot) and it will probably also give them some peace of mind to picture all three of you tucked away in a pretty cemetery plot.

I am seriously thinking about setting money aside to be buried in Mt Auburn Cemetery, which still accepts new internments, on the basis that it's super pretty (people walk around it just to look at the graves) and if I'm ever going to be dug up by archaeologists in 3000 AD, its more likely to be there.

Yikes, DXM! That is scary stuff.

Yes, it is Monday. So far it has been a relaxing morning, then again most of my customers don't get to work for another 5 minutes.

I am seriously thinking about setting money aside to be buried in Mt Auburn Cemetery, which still accepts new internments, on the basis that it's super pretty (people walk around it just to look at the graves) and if I'm ever going to be dug up by archaeologists in 3000 AD, its more likely to be there.

I kind of insisted that we put my dad there, so they got a two-person slot in the columbarium under the chapel. It was the cheapest, I think, but it also turns out we like that it's inside. FWIW.

So presumably I'll go in there, too, but I didn't go in with my parents, is the point, aurelia.

Hmm. My grandpa has a stone, but I am not sure my grandma is on it. My aunt is in a different cemetery alone, and my uncle wants no stone I suspect my mom does not either. Not sure what to do about that?

Aurelia, are you planning to be cremated? Check to see if you can be buried in the on one of their plots. When my mom died we bought adjacent plots for her and my father. Only later did we learn that A) you can bury up to two sets of cremains in a person's burial plot, and tB) hat my dad wanted to be cremated.

Theo, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm pretty sure my grandmother's family has like six or eight people's cremains in their family plot that just looks like one slot, IIRC.

I wonder how many families just surreptitiously scatter cremains on a relative's expensive plot. Sort of like the Great Escape prisoners carrying up pocketfuls of excavation dirt to shake out in the exercise yard.

My family favors cremation and scattering at sea, which makes sense for Dad, whose home is in Half Moon Bay and who had a two mile beachside walk on his last functional day.

Yesterday we took him to hospice. He's so strong that his body just won't quit and it is shutting down very slowly. I have trouble spending time sitting with his empty shell because it is horrible to see blankness and drooling in such a vivid person.

This has been a worst case scenario for his loved ones. The cardiac arrest took him down suddenly, and now more than a week circling the drain. My stepmom has been a tower of strength, I have been completely calm and very sad, and my sister has been covering storms of emotion and asking about miracle cures. I think we have all the reactions.

I advise pre planning postmortem wishes. Having all that in place has been one relief in a sea of paperwork.

I'm so sorry, Katie. This must be excruciating.

I wonder how many families just surreptitiously scatter cremains on a relative's expensive plot. Sort of like the Great Escape prisoners carrying up pocketfuls of excavation dirt to shake out in the exercise yard.

Ha! Not sure how you get the name engraved in that case?

Oh, Katie, that is so hard. Wishing you strength and love.

There are so many more regulations around cremains than I ever knew before this job. Special permission (or at least paperwork) is needed to fly with them, for instance, and in some cases to scatter them (although that depends on where, I guess).

In my limited experience on the phones for the last 18 months, a huge majority of people are being cremated over traditional burial, and a lot of people don't seem to be bothering to bury cremains, either. I did have a guy call the other day, though, who was having his dad's amputated leg cremated, which was a first for me.