I'm so tired! I got in late Sunday night and have been out until nine the last two nights. All good things, but I feel like I'm just crawling toward next weekend.

They went on a hike and then played in a creek for the last half hour or so. I asked what they did and he said "all the other kids went up stream to have a water fight and I stayed and tried to catch fish and then skipped rocks".

When I was on this band retreat the other weekend, they were super explicit at all times that no one had to participate in anything, which was great. So at any given time, even if we were "all" doing an activity, there were always one or two people off being alone. Obviously it helps that we are grownups, but I think that was really valuable and I wish that kind of attitude existed everywhere!

Ack, now in the situation where the one place has sent a contract for me to sign for hourly work, which likely would eventually become full-time but no commitment, and the second place is full-time, sounds interesting, and would pay well, but isn't as far along in the hiring process.

Oh yikes, Dana! That's a tricky position to be in. How interested are you in each place?

It's our big office cleaning day today, and I think I'm done? I've even tossed a ton of stuff out of a common cabinet.

The full-time job almost certainly would be higher stress, longer hours, and more bullshit. But it would be a big jump in pay and status. Manager-level position, including managing people, which I haven't before. Remote full-time for the moment, though they have plans to open an office here. Plus, benefits.

The contract job has more flexibility, but they pushed back strongly against my hourly rate, which husband thinks is a big red flag. They say if things go well it will likely turn into a full-time job, but no guarantees.

I need to talk to full-time job and find out where they are in their process, because I can't put off the contract people for long.

Oh, and full-time job is a start-up, though several years old, which means it may have that annoying Silicon Valley start-up culture.

That is so tricky! Is the contract job potentially more stable? I don't know how much you actually care about that, but you and your husband have been through the wringer from my perspective! And start-ups sound risky to me.

It sounds like a big change, but increased pay and benefits are pretty nice things.

Is the contract job potentially more stable?

Hard to say. It sounds like they have plenty of work, and I'd be the only person.

The person I spoke to with the full-time job yesterday did warn me that the culture is "debative", and it's hard to know if that means healthy debate or just people being assholes.

Holy crap, today's Ask Polly: [link]