^ is an excellent auto-correct

I think my family has hit the COVID wall of FUCK THIS SHIT.

My oldest is struggling hard with virtual learning and has taken to just ignoring assignments and not turning stuff in. His teacher is a hard ass (has been all year), which would likely be fine if we weren't in COVID hell, but is really hard to take right now. There is no grace from her regarding the fact that this super extroverted kid is missing his friends, is not getting enough physical activity, and struggles in school in the best of times. She gets my wife all worked up and I have to talk her down from "punishment" because NOPE, I'm not coming down hard on him right now. His life is upside down. In normal times, he'd lose gaming and/or work toward some reward but these are far from normal times. Gaming is literally his lifeline right now - it's socialization with friends, it's something he enjoys, a rarity these days. He is super sensitive and cries often. He's starting puberty. It's a fucking lot. I am so angry that we have 45 during this time and things have been handled so poorly.

We pulled my youngest to homeschool (he was not able to do virtual in any way - he's super anxious and he's 7, so...). He was supposed to start at a tiny homeschool pod this month but with the COVID numbers the way they are, we are holding off and it worries me for him. I know having to repeat a grade isn't the end of the world (that's the "worst" thing that can happen here), but I know it would do a number on his psyche.

I'm struggling to get anything done in my new job. No stress is being put on me at all, but I am an over-achiever and it's weighing on me. DW is in charge of all weekday childcare and it's a LOT. We are at our breaking point as a family and we have months to go. I know we are not alone in this, and that in many (most) ways we are so super privileged. That doesn't make it not hard, though, you know? No real point here - just needed to get it out, I guess.

In normal times, he'd lose gaming and/or work toward some reward but these are far from normal times. Gaming is literally his lifeline right now - it's socialization with friends, it's something he enjoys, a rarity these days. He is super sensitive and cries often. He's starting puberty.

I feel this - how can I take away screentime when screens are the only way they can see their friends?

{{{{{Glam}}}}} I'm so sorry. ltc was having so much trouble being home, and I'm afraid we'll be back there again soon. I'm thinking of keeping her home an extra week after Christmas break regardless. She misses her grandparents, and I fear she is showing signs of anxiety/depression. I was super generous with screen time when she was home. TCG wasn't happy about it, but he wasn't the one home with her.

Tea:

Instead of taking away screentime for bad behavior, I have taken away specific shows for the day that I know she prefers to watch, but I'll still let her watch something else. It has mostly been effective.

I feel this - how can I take away screentime when screens are the only way they can see their friends?

Yeah, every time DW mentions this, I am aggressively like, "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" He is not allowed to have his Switch in his room during the school day (temptation), but otherwise? It's all he has.- and it's not enough! He would absolutely spiral if we did that. Nope, nope, nope

My oldest is struggling hard with virtual learning and has taken to just ignoring assignments and not turning stuff in. His teacher is a hard ass (has been all year), which would likely be fine if we weren't in COVID hell, but is really hard to take right now. There is no grace from her regarding the fact that this super extroverted kid is missing his friends, is not getting enough physical activity, and struggles in school in the best of times. She gets my wife all worked up and I have to talk her down from "punishment" because NOPE, I'm not coming down hard on him right now. His life is upside down. In normal times, he'd lose gaming and/or work toward some reward but these are far from normal times. Gaming is literally his lifeline right now - it's socialization with friends, it's something he enjoys, a rarity these days. He is super sensitive and cries often. He's starting puberty. It's a fucking lot. I am so angry that we have 45 during this time and things have been handled so poorly.

That's so hard! There just aren't any easy solutions either. Matilda's been handling the schoolwork okay (and the school and teachers have been very helpful) but the lack of socializing has really taken a toll on her. She's struggled with depression this year. And she's gone from soccer/softball/aerial/track girl to a complete early teen blob. Which, admittedly, she's been going through a growth spurt and there's a lot of sleeping involved.

One thing that helped a lot was the jewelry class she took with her friend Iris through Parks and Rec. They had to walk over to GG Park twice a week and back, so even just getting them out of the house was good. But it was a small group, properly distanced and masked - but it was with other human beings and she made some new friends. Plus creative activity, which she isn't getting from school.

I've decided Emmett's xmas present is just going to be a Get Through The Covid Winter Kit.

TCG would take ltc out on her bike or play in the yard several times a week while she was not in school. If she's home during the winter it's going to be an extra level of hell for all of us.

They had to walk over to GG Park twice a week and back, so even just getting them out of the house was good. But it was a small group, properly distanced and masked - but it was with other human beings

D still has one in-person theater arts class a week, with 6 kids plus the teacher, all masked/distanced. It's probably more risk than I should be exposing him to (the class was outdoors all summer, moved indoors a few weeks ago when temps here dropped below freezing) but it is literally the only chance he has during the week to leave the house.

Peanut is also having a hard time with online schooling, but I think it's harder on me. I mean, she's 5, of course she's not going to be super-focused. But having to basically sit on her the entire time she's in school to get her to pay attention and not start screwing around is taking its toll. Also, having to hear 20+ 5-year-olds hollering when they're all chatting is very overwhelming for me.

I know she's lonely, though, and she definitely misses her friends from preschool. I feel so bad, since most of those kids are still in her old preschool, so they're all in a pod, and I have to explain to her why she can't go hang out with them when we see them around the neighborhood.

Matilda has been a great help for us, both for Peanut's creativity and just socialization.