Well done, Zen. Nice when the body surprises you in a good way.

Today is going to be a rough day. It is the baby shower for my first grandchild. We won't be there. We don't feel welcome or wanted. My second son has double and tripled down on being a judgmental entitled ass. He even unfriended his father on FB for zero reason. My working theory is that son is overwhelmed. He has had recent health scares, as in TIAs and out of control cholesterol, which at 26 is pretty nuts. He has a new position at work, a new house, a baby on the way, plus all the usual stresses we all have. I feel his being so cruel to his father is a striking out at those closest. DH feels he has never loved and respected him as a father and that he has lost him forever. Expects he won't go to his funeral, that type of thing. He is just devastated. I drove out to the host's house last night and left my huge stack of gifts. At this point it looks like stuff is all they ever cared about anyway, which is the last thing I care about.

Mostly is it just a huge shock. We really thought we were super close and loved each other's company. We did things together. They lived with us and I thought we got along great. It is just such a 180 from where I thought we were in our relationship. I'm not engaging at all. I have 100% confidence that we were always there for our children and gave them unconditional love, encouragement, and support. I have no guilt. This is something going on with son, and he has to figure it out, or not.

So yes, I am heartbroken, but just focused on improving our lives by getting healthy. DH has to lose a bunch of weight so he can have hernia surgery. So I am cooking nice healthy stuff and we are exercising. Turning the focus inward. DIL's mother and DH's sister are determined to try and fix things, but only time might fix it. The wounds will take a long time to heal.

ION, my eldest son, who has caused me the gray hair over the last decade is doing great. He is thrilled with his move to NY and loving his apartment, his girlfriend, and his job. He has been sweet and communicative.

Sorry to spill here, but I have to get it out or my teeth will surely be ground to nothing.

I’m so sorry this is happening. I’m here to read about it when you need to dump some data on the board. I’m aghast at what that boy has done. He probably thinks he himself will be a perfect dad... but cutting off family over perceived past slights is terribly cruel, and that’s not part of the recipe for ideal parenting. That idiot has NO idea how fortunate he was to have your love and care.

It is like delayed teenagerdom. I think/hope he will grow up some day soon.

Oh Laura I’m so sorry. This is such a turnaround.

Oh, Laura, I'm so sorry. That's all too much.

Oh Laura. Much love to you and your husband. You are right to turn your focus inward.

ION, my eldest son, who has caused me the gray hair over the last decade is doing great. He is thrilled with his move to NY and loving his apartment, his girlfriend, and his job. He has been sweet and communicative.

I'm grateful it's not both at once.

Laura, it's awful that he's putting you both through this. Mind boggling that they would ever alienate parents who demonstrably love and support them but especially at a time when support and love are so critical. I mean it's never not critical, but with all the new stuff they're facing... I'm sorry you two are going through this.

I'm glad to hear of #1's thriving. That's really heartening.

Lots of virtual hugs to you and DH.

{{{{{Laura}}}}}

Thank you all for being here. It helps to know you care.

I'm sorry, Laura. I can only echo what has already been said.