I'm sorry, askye. It is a lot.

Thanks.

I came home today and he said he hasn't had the best attitude lately and he realizes he needs to change somethings but he won't feel great for a few days (he is supposed to stop weed for his anti depressants and is doing that cold turkey) . So that was a step in the right direction.

Sounds like it. I really, really hope that works, askye.

Best of luck, askye. That's a tough situation.

That is a step in the right direction, askye. Does he have someone professionally competent to discuss the dynamic with his mother with? That is a tricky element to the mental well being of all.

He doesn't. Any therapy for him is through the VA. So not sure if they even do something like that.

I need to see if my therapist will do telehealth appointment. I see my meds manager person on the 20th and going to ask about trying a different long release ADD meds. Vyvanse works great but I've been kidding myself that I can afford it. It's $250/MTH until my deductible kicks in and that is $1700. So I can't keep throwing away money like that.

If I don't have that expense I can make better decisions about the future. I think it may come down to either he and I get our own place or I get my own place which doesn't mean we break up exactly just means I can't keep living like this.

Hi guys. There's no way I can catch up on the years of back bitches and natter that I've missed. I've been struggling heavily to get the basics done and avoiding screens because I have a bad habit of reading..like..news and stuff which is super bad for mental health these days.

I'm doing all the self care things but desperately want a break from...everything.

On the one hands: it's great that I never stopped working during the pandemic. Sure, there were changes, but still working full time. Vacation plans (to Italy, in April) were, of course, postponed to next year. I've taken a handful of days off here and there when I just couldn't anymore and needed to sleep for 14 hours or whatever, but there's no point in taking an actual vacation or real time off for myself because there's nowhere to go and no one to go with.

Worse, I am taking three weeks off work do one of the least refreshing things imaginable: fly across country to take care of my mother later this month when she had both knees replaced. I love my mother. However, she's the most extroverted person I know and we will literally be stuck in her townhouse the entire time I'm there. She's already been pulling her hair out since March with not getting to go to church twice a week and get all that quality socializing time. We spend hours each week on Zoom while she thinks out loud and I keep myself occupied as subtly as possible off screen. I'm exhausted just thinking about the trip there and back. But hey, maybe I'll catch Covid on the return flight and quietly pass in my sweet little home surrounded by cats ready to eat my eyeballs.

That got dark quickly. Yeah, basically I miss having things to look forward to. My corona-coaster is a little low these days. Walks help. Lack of swimming opportunity does not help. Petting cats helps. Not being touched by human hands for going on half a year does not. Hey silver lining: once I've been sheltered in Mom's place for a few days, there'll be no way to avoid contact so I might as well get some backrubs. That's something to look forward to!

Nicodemus and Malachi say hello and appreciated the chance to show off for the camera last night. They really come alive when the medium-sized-screen-of-distraction is full of faces to admire their fluffiness.

I miss y'all. I'll be lurking more actively for a bit...at least until I get totally distracted by shiney.

e_o! Hey there. This place is saner than the news sites by a long shot. Although pretty slow on the weekend.

Yikes on the parental care trip. Knee surgery is very helpful, but not a whole lot of fun to endure. She will likely be drugged so that could help. If she is an extrovert perhaps you can get some of her social circle involved via video chats with her.

Everyone is on stress overload. Good to see your pixels during the craziness.

Thanks Laura :) I will say that I am immensely enjoying the summer fruit bounty. There are several farms in the area that are offering extremely low-contact pickup options in empty church parking lots. I ended up with half a flat of cherries and half a flat of blueberries on Sunday and am still working my way through both. I have literally been eating blueberries and perfectly ripe dark cherries for breakfast all week AIFG. Well, it's great now that my digestive system is on board. The first day was rough ;P

Oh yes, I tend to overindulge in fresh berries when they first come in too. Worth it!