Help! I need a barometer. Is "have a conversation without getting angry with me" an unreasonable demand? Is there a better way of phrasing it that doesn't sound so much like tone-policing? I just want to be able to like, solve problems without everything turning into an argument but also wondering if I'm the asshole.
Funny thing about black and white. You mix it together and you get gray. And it doesn't matter how much white you try and put back in, you're never gonna get anything but gray.
Lilah ,'Destiny'
Spike's Bitches 49: As usual, I'm here to help you, and I... are you naked under there?
Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Laga - Dec 06, 2019 5:21:37 am PST #6727 of 8358
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.
Steph L. - Dec 06, 2019 5:56:43 am PST #6728 of 8358
It's actually been a really hard year, when you stop and do the math. Eliot would cry, too, if it didn't take him seventy minutes of therapy, two cocktails, and a Sondheim medley before he can experience a human emotion through the haze of his PTSD.
Laga, that's a tricky one. Because people are going to feel what they're going to feel (like, no matter what you say, they might get angry). Although I need to emphasize that *how* someone expresses their feelings can be a problem. Except yeah, saying "Don't express your anger" sort of seems like tone-policing. Ugh, it's complicated.
I guess maybe approach it from the POV that includes both of you? Something like, "I'd like to have a conversation where both of us feel like our points are being heard." Would that work?
Laga - Dec 06, 2019 6:04:53 am PST #6729 of 8358
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.
thank you yes that is very helpful! I think I tend to approach people problems the same way I approach thing problems and that can leave people feeling like I see them as things.
Zenkitty - Dec 07, 2019 7:31:33 am PST #6730 of 8358
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
quester, that's horrible. Some companies are really shitty to their employees. No wonder you're stressed out. I hope it works out well for you.
Laga, I hope you find a way to have that conversation. Steph's suggestion sounds good. Sometimes the other person is just primed to get mad and they will no matter what you say.
I am depressed and feeling a bit hopeless today. I'd go for a walk but my ankle hurts too much.
quester - Dec 08, 2019 2:07:17 pm PST #6731 of 8358
Danger is my middle name, only I spell it R. u. t. h. - Tina Belcher.
I'm more than a little worried about the coming week and the weeks after. Rumors are flying that there will be 4 round of this.
any ~keep my job ma would be appreciated!
aurelia - Dec 08, 2019 5:50:24 pm PST #6732 of 8358
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.
Employment~ma to you, quester.
Laura - Dec 09, 2019 2:10:51 am PST #6733 of 8358
This too shall pass.
Job~ma for you, quester.
quester - Dec 09, 2019 3:04:04 pm PST #6734 of 8358
Danger is my middle name, only I spell it R. u. t. h. - Tina Belcher.
wasn't a good day. I got qualitied, which means 2 of the cases I worked on were checked and were wrong. they want 100% good quality and I was last month. But, this month of Doom has been hard, and I've been qualitied 4 times in the space of 1 week. I'm allowed 3 before it becomes a problem for management.
I had a 1 on 1 meeting with my fired Manager. She was understanding and encouraging, which is nice. I have to keep my shit together the rest of the month. Today I just felt like a zombie.
but I mailed my holiday cards, so one win.
Laga - Dec 11, 2019 6:13:27 am PST #6735 of 8358
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.
ugh quester I hope today is going better for you
JohnSweden - Dec 12, 2019 12:15:24 pm PST #6736 of 8358
I can't even.
Buffista holiday cards in the post (thanks again Kat). I was reminded to do so by my first card from a Buffista arriving in the mail (thanks Erika!), so that's sort of like having my shirt together, right? I have begun to purchase family gifts and Monday is my last work day for 2019. I fly out west on Tuesday and then the shopping begins in earnest. Hang in there, allbuddies!