I always feel mildly uncomfortable with public displays of religion ... probably from having been raised non-religious (I used to describe myself as a lapsed Unitarian).

I feel like that too. I was raised "lapsed Catholic". There is a whole lot of baggage about religion in my family because my grandfather's psychosis and breakdown when my mom was little was a sort of religious one, where he heard the voice of God telling him what to do. And it let him to take my uncle, and drive to Long Island Sound to baptize him in the ocean. My mom had a brief religious time when she was a teen and converted to Catholicism from nothing. My grandma was Catholic, but not religious, but she kept a lot of the paraphernalia like her rosary and Missel with the Latin Mass, and wait figurines, which I have. But religion was just not something we touched.

I do in fact LOVE Mass and would probably convert for the ritual, if I didn't feel like I would be lying to say I actually believe in God. I have considered going to Unitarian services, but what I like is actually the theatre of it, and I feel Unitarians are lacking in pageantry. I also think saying the rosary would be a good anti-anxiety meditation, with the beads and the physical holding of something while repeating words.

Also, and I know I have said this before, but my grandpa was mostly fine when I knew him, and I really don't understand how you stop hearing voices without medication. He did have ECT back when it was called "shock treatment". My mom once said that he did here them, but he stopped listening except in times of utmost stress. That just seems so weird.

And I just figured out that I managed to stop taking my nortriptyline at some point during the ten days I was gone, which possibly explains the drastic vertigo, increased anxiety, problems sleeping, and so forth. Fucking genius move on my part.

Oh Dana. I'm sorry.

And in other note, a funny story. After three nights in a row where I got glorious 4.5-5 hours of sleep every night (I need at least 6 to function, more not to be gronky all day, and these days were super busy y'all), I arrived at 7.30 am to the office upon special request for sanity checks to the new system before everyone else arrive (that's legit. Gronky but legit). Long story short, you wouldn't believe who was was left out of the sanity checks list and didn't have a user to do said sanity checks with.

After waiting an hour I socially hacked my boss' email to get his login details to do the checks, and same for his whatsapp to get information related to the checks because I was also left out of all communication channels re: said checks (no scripts, no known issues warnings, no "don't even try to do X for now").

You stole an hour of my precious sleep and made me jump through hoops to get the vital and urgent work that needed to be done, work people. Revenge will come.

Oh no Dana! I hope you're back on track soon.

Shir please don't kill anyone. I know it seems like a good idea now but get a good sleep and then think about it again.

I have three sibs. Our parents didn't like how they were indoctrinated as children so they figured if they exposed us to all different religions without judgment we would each pick the faith that suited us best. Turns out we're all atheists with varying degrees of caring. My sister will say something snarky if you say "bless you" but then when we went to grandma's church she would take communion despite never being baptised because it made grandma happy. I don't think my bro cares about religion at all but when his son came home thinking christmas was about baby cheeses he ran with it and now they always have babybel on christmas. My other sister I think is still Jewish, having converted in highschool, but non practicing. I'm considering joining the satanic temple.

Who ever said anything about killing? That's messy and takes effort. Nah, just give me ten minutes with their unlocked phone. That's all the revenge I need.

One of my previous therapists worked out of her home and her dog was there for most of the sessions. A big German Shepard named Romeo, sweetest doggo, would greet people at the door. He would lie next to me on the big couch. One time I was griping about the same old thing, and in a moment of silence Romeo heaved a huge sigh, and I said Even the dog is sick of listening to this! Therapist laughed.

I'd go to a therapist just because of the office dog. Personally, I'd be real wary of a therapist who advertised religious services, but that's because of a bad history. I'm pantheist and queer af, I don't want a religious therapist; I'd feel like she wasn't able to hear me without bias.

In unemployment news, I've landed a freelance job and I had a phone interview yesterday that went well. The freelance gig doesn't pay much, but it's more than my unemployment checks. The FT job, eh, I don't know. The company sounds grand, but the job may not be a good fit for me. I don't want another job that causes me panic attacks all the time. We'll see.

Yay Zen! Go you with the job work!

Shir it sounds like they would deserve anything you dished out. Though I would've just given up and gotten breakfast if they didn't give me the tools I needed!

Woohoo for work!