We all just went to the Dollar Tree and they have Wet N Wild polish! So that was fun. A says he doesn't need any colors right now, but now we know where to find them.

Lisah, thanks! I've got it marked so I can check it out with A later.

Good news vibes, Erika.

Deena, you're such a good mom! I can't believe A is sixteen! I delurked when you were pregnant with him!

Thanks, sj.

I was recently diagnosed with DID, so I'm kind of juggling a lot right now -- we're all figuring things out, and I don't know who they are anymore than I know who I am, I guess. I figure we can all learn together.

Deena, you always have so much on your plate. Lots of love.

I figure we can all learn together.

Exactly. And you will.

My niece who stayed with me to help when the boys were tiny just had her own baby. She decided at ~42 that she wanted to be a mom, after saying never for the previous decades. She had been the eldest of 6 and felt she had done the mom thing enough. Also said she would never marry, and she didn't. She went the science route to get pregnant. And long story shortened a bit, she was bemoaning the people/books/articles that call her a failure for not having any luck breastfeeding and giving up. I felt bad because it had been so easy for me and I had no bottles when she lived with me because the kids were always with me.

I've tried to express to her that there is only one thing that child needs from her and that is the abundance of unconditional love she is providing. Yes, naturally she is going to feed, clothe, and shelter the child, because love. Our children know if we are doing the best we can and when they are loved. That is all that matters.

My parents weren't perfect. Dad was a brilliant eccentric weirdo who didn't understand kids or how to relate to them. Mom was super naive and easily manipulated by her kids. But 100% I know they loved us unconditionally and did the very best they could. I don't have to forgive them for the mistakes or failings, because I always felt safe and loved.

All good parents suffer over feelings of inadequacy, so much time spent suffering over which decision is best. I'm grateful that at this point in life I am over that. I wasn't the perfect parent, and my kids aren't perfect, but they and I know that I did the best I could, and they know without a doubt that they are loved.

So many wonderful Buffista parents here. It brings me joy to see your children thrive under your loving care.

eta: and surprisingly only one typo in that!

Time is tight in the Shirlands and I can't write as much as I want and should, but I just wanted to pop in and say that all of you have my love and health~ma. I think of you often.

Does anyone have any recommendations for chewie stin toys? I've recently realized that part of my over eating is actually stimming and maybe if I used one for oral stims it would reduce the eating .

I've never bought anything from Stimtastic, but they have soft silicone pendants that are chewy: [link] and other chewable toys: [link] I like the necklaces because it would always be around your neck, unlike one of the toys, which you could misplace.

I've been meaning to get one of their spinner rings.

Looking for a condo is complicated. At least 80% of the ones on the market are eliminated immediately because of accessibility. At least half of the remaining ones look like they're not quite accessible, but maybe I could make it work, if I saw them in person and looked around. (Like, one where the front entrance is clearly not accessible, but it looks like there's a back entrance from the parking lot, and that one might be OK.)

And when I find ones that might work, my mom starts telling me, "I think you could do better."

Also, almost none of these have a kitchen layout that will really work for me (though some are close), so I figure that I'll probably be tearing out and redoing the kitchen of anywhere I buy, so unless the kitchen is perfect the way it is, a badly designed kitchen with Formica works just as well as a badly designed kitchen with granite counters.

That sounds complicated, Hil.

I had not ever heard of stimming in that context. That is really interesting, and I've bookmarked that jewelry site.

Laura, I wasn't able to nurse any of my kids. I was really upset about it because, I mean, come on, big boobs! What else are they good for? But Nick didn't thrive and my milk just didn't come in enough, Kara absolutely refused, and then Aidan spent too much time in NICU. It is somehow demoralizing not to be able to nourish your kids in that way, or it was for me, anyway, but deep breath and keep thinking of the things you can do, and appreciate the convenience, I guess. Go Niece for momming only when she was ready.

You guys are so awesome.