Lots of ~ma for T and her family.

I just got done with a ridiculous day of work. Proctored an exam for two hours (600 students and three proctors for about half the time, until the fourth proctor showed up), then had the faculty holiday party (salad, and the saddest fajita ever), then six hours of grading exams. And a bunch of emails from students who want higher grades. And seeing the doctor tomorrow morning, because I'm still coughing.

I did get a cupcake, which was pretty much the only good thing about today. (The husband of the course coordinator stopped by with a bunch of bakery boxes of cookies and cupcakes and stuff, including a small box from the vegan bakery, which was very nice.)

Greg and I were talking about the inner voices, ego-states therapy stuff I'm doing. My therapist said it's not uncommon to have a lot of voices in your head if you've experienced trauma.

He says, "I guess I didn't have the luxury of all the trauma you've experienced. I have my dad's extra-critical voice, but I had to dig deep to even find the inner artist child. If it weren't for Julia Cameron putting spurs to my ass, I'd have never found it!"

the luxury of all the trauma...

He added, "I wondered why it sounds like wind whistling through a canyon in here sometimes."

the luxury of all the trauma...

That reminds me of a meme I reposted on FB. It said:

"Wow, you're so mature for your age!"
"Thanks, it was the trauma."

Which is so damn true.

~ma for T and family. It is often more stressful to care for a sick loved one than to be sick yourself.

Hope today is a calm low key day, Hil.

Discussing therapy options with my eldest. He absolutely knows he has issues, but getting him to do something about it has been less than successful. He yelled at me when I picked him up a couple days ago to do some work for me. I apparently wasn't adequately appreciative of him agreeing to help me when he hadn't slept for 31 hours. I reminded him that no one gets to yell at me and told him to go back to bed and left. When he was here for Thanksgiving he screamed at his 5 year old cousin because he threw a basketball at him a few times. That is twice he has had a rage attack in the presence of my nephew and I worry that their good relationship is now damaged. He's been out of work, sleeping and playing video games all day and night, only showering when I make him for months again. Anyway, communicating with him about options.

Much trauma and drama in my younger son's household. DIL has a fractured heel. It has been in pain for a while and she had been in a soft boot, then the MRI showed the fracture so a hard cast on Monday. Then her dad is having a cath done this morning because he went to the hospital Wednesday night with chest pain. And today is her mother's birthday. I offered to bring her lunch to the hospital, but she said there was a Jamaican group on the hospital lawn smoking meat stuff and a picnic was going to happen. Which is kinda awesome. My son has a massive nurturing streak so I am sure he is taking care of everyone. Still, a lot.

Sheesh, took me about two hours to get a post written with working and stuff in between!

there was a Jamaican group on the hospital lawn smoking meat stuff and a picnic was going to happen.

That hospital is the BEST HOSPITAL. Damn, Cincinnati hospitals need to step up their game.

Apparently things are pretty competitive with hospitals in S. Florida! I was impressed. I'll probably run up there at lunch time just to check it out. And the patient of course. ;)

Damn, yeah, that is way awesomer than any hospital I've been to lately!

I didn't go up at lunchtime. Poor guy did have a heart attack. One artery 100% blocked. Gets another stent in a couple weeks. His wife reports he is in pain and miserable and scowls at the notion of visitors, which completely understandable. Last guy you would figure. He races BMX bikes in his spare time and bikes daily on regular bike. The kids are visiting after work, because his daughter gets to visit no matter what he says. I'm taking birthday girl out to dinner while the kids visit. There is a very nice steakhouse and craft beer place nearby, and she loves her fancy beers. She said she is totally up for me being designated driver. Had to make a reservation for 2 because this time of year it is absurd to try and just show up at a restaurant. I don't do 2 hour waits.

Goodness, that's a lot of stuff.

I meant to say earlier, it's nice when someone takes your dietary needs into account, so yay for the vegan cupcake! I hope things get better, Hil.

Thanks, it was the trauma

Man, it's just...yeah.

I'm really sorry about Eldest son's issues, Laura. It's so painful when you can't fix things for them or just pick them up and shake them and make them do what you know is best. I hesitate to even mention it, but is it possible to do an involuntary hospital visit for him? Maybe get him on some meds that help him sleep and think straight? I would imagine he'll be very sorry about the damage to the relationship with his nephew later, when he's thinking again.

If it's any consolation, when I was a teenager, I threw my brother across the room and bounced him off a wall. I was horrified by my behavior (he pushed all my buttons, and we won't talk about a teen being forced to do unending childcare and make sure that the children are fed nutritionally balanced meals, homework done, bathed, and in bed on time, along with the housework and her own homework every damn day), so.... I was horrified. I talked to him about it about 10 years ago, and he laughed and said he didn't remember it, but "go you for not putting up with my shit!" So, yeah, maybe the nephew won't even remember after a few years? It's a nice hope. I'm still kind of horrified by my behaviour back then.

I have to say, having a good therapist makes a huge difference. With the ones before this one I felt, for whatever reason, defensive and angry.

We're going to a Christmas pageant this evening with live camels, llamas, and sheep. My dad's been helping with sets and things, and says to go tonight, the first night, in case it doesn't go well and they have to limit the number of animals on subsequent nights. I am a little intrigued and yet confused... is there a safety issue? Live animals! Aimee needs me to see a camel up close!