Steph, taking some time for yourself when you need it isn't selfish. Can you prioritize some, and decide which things are most important, and which ones would be OK with a "Sorry I can't make it, but happy birthday, and here's a funny e-card!"?

I still feel like choosing to stay home is a horrible things and only acceptable if I'm very very ill.

You are not egotistical, and you don't need to be sorry for feeling how you feel or for telling us about it when you need support.

Can you look at staying home as a way from preventing yourself from getting ill? Constant stress is not healthy. And anyone who can't understand that you're overwhelmed with Tim's dad and your mom is an asshole friend. It's okay for them to be disappointed, but not to guilt trip you over that.

You can't be any help to Tim, or his family, or your mother if you don't take care of yourself. If that means paring down things in your life to a minimum, then do that. If it means only going to events you'll actually enjoy, do that.

And your therapist makes sense. Try to listen to them.

What Jess and your therapist said, Steph. Socializing is not always the fun it's meant to be. Give yourself a break and say no.

And Jess, WTF is he on? How immature is this dude? That's so beyond appropriate and unacceptable. The kids can now see what an petty and immature person he is.

I don't necessarily have anything helpful to say, Steph, other than I Get It. I'm only just starting to get my schedule back after caring for (just) my mom (and job, and house, and cat, etc.) the past few months and I have to force myself to get out there more because I feel like I need to reconnect to people and activities that I've missed, yet I want to just stay in and continue to recharge (not to make it about me). So, I have no helpful advice, but if it makes you feel any better, I cringed in sympathy/empathy reading your post. I don't think you're selfish. I think you're an introvert and that you have to be aware of your own needs. I understand why you're concerned that it will be Too Much. I'm confident you'll figure out how to negotiate the next few months to maintain relationships while maintaining your sanity. Good luck, and Godspeed.

Re-reading that, I sounded flippant. I was being completely sincere. Stupid non-tone-conveying text.

Edit: Also kudos for bringing it here. I'm just realizing how much I shut down and retreat into my own head when I'm getting overwhelmed. It's all well and good for me to say I know I'll get support from the people here, but it's hard for the 'ffistas to provide support that they don't know is needed. So yeah, kudos.

I'm only just starting to get my schedule back after caring for (just) my mom (and job, and house, and cat, etc.)

Getting a new kitty was bad timing for me. But it's okay. It's stressful, but it'll be fine.

the past few months and I have to force myself to get out there more because I feel like I need to reconnect to people and activities that I've missed

I'm glad I went back to improv this class session, because it's good for me, but I'm also like OH GOD ONE MORE THING TO DO.

I cringed in sympathy/empathy reading your post.

We shouldn't be twinsies on this. It sucks. Well, neither of us should feel this way. We should be twinsies in not being overwhelmed.

Teppy, you are not being egotistical. Having to be on and social all weekend is hard for you, and that is okay. Also, it is completely socially acceptable to say, sorry I can't attend your party because I need to be there for my mother who just had major surgery. Also, please come here and rant or vent at any time. You have a lot on your plate and have had a lot on your plate for quite some time now.

Jess, that is a shitty situation, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. Trying to drag kids into it is extra shitty.

Tea: I also just looked at my calendar and realized I have something social every weekend this month including hosting Father's Day next weekend, and I'm filled with the don't wannas. So, I completely understand.

Trying to drag kids into it is extra shitty.

Oh, god. I was gonna say, using kids as weapons? Is one of the shittiest things a person can do.

including hosting Father's Day next weekend

Oh Jesus, it's next weekend? God damn it.

Oops, Teppy. Sorry, I didn't mean to add to your pile.