Insurance is so ridiculous. But I am somewhat ashamed to say that after all the fuss I made about them forcing me to change my medication, the new one is actually working even better, I think!!

I tried calling the company but if you pick the number for assistance it tells you that is an invalid selection.

My doctors office may be able to help. Not this month but maybe from now on. I don't have the spoons to deal with it.

Work only semi sucks right now. But something happened and the battery is nearly drained. And I made the mistake of going into McDonald's and it seems like someone ordered 20 or more meals because they keep putting food in bags and it isn't mine.

Blah. I've been on a liquid fast all day, because of the tests that I'm having done tomorrow to try to see if they can figure out why I'm anemic, and I'm so hungry. And Facebook and Twitter both keep giving me ads for pizza.

I have apple juice. Apple juice is not pizza.

My therapist is always after me to celebrate victories and actually acknowledge victories and progress instead of brushing it off. Which is hard because I always feel like I should do better than I am.

But in everything that has happened today not once did I have one of the scary self harm images pop into my head. I have these pictures or little movies that just pop in my head at times of stress. I don't want to act on them but it's just there all the time, almost taunting me. And it becomes another layer of stress , trying to deal with them. It's like my brain takes in all the panic and fear and goes "hold my beer"...

Today that did not happen.

I'm also not looking forward to work (I should be asleep, instead of I'm continuing my de stressing before bed). Tomorrow will be kind of a grind but after work I'll go to Matthew's,. I have Sunday off and was thinking about going down there again but I'm going to stay home and kind of cocoon myself and prep for the week.

Today that did not happen.

Yes, recognize and celebrate. Spend some time reflecting on your progress. It is real and you should be proud.

askye, you deserve to celebrate. That is real progress.

Hil, I wish you well with the butt scope.

For those who don't usually drop in to Natter, I posted a thing about my cursèd left leg.

askye, how are you doing today?

Grrr, the eBay auction I want to snipe in two hours has 5 other watchers.

My test went OK. I think they used too much of the anesthesia, though -- Steph picked me up and drove me home (thank you again), and then I ate some instant noodles and fell asleep for about six hours. Woke up just long enough to set my alarm clock for the next morning, and slept another ten hours. And felt groggy all day today.

The nurse told me that the doctor came in and talked to me right after I woke up, but I have no memory of that at all. But the nurse said that everything looked fine. Which, on the one hand, is good, but on the other hand, it still doesn't answer why I'm anemic.

I am doing good. Came down to Matthew's last night we had tacos and s'mores at the taco place down the street and then watched some of The Good Place. He went to work today so I had lunch, watched the new Great British Bake Off on Netflix (the one from last year). We were going to go to the Fair but he came back from work over heated and exhausted so we took a nap and will finish up the Good Place instead.

I have to work tomorrow but I'm going to come back down Sunday so we can go to the Fair and eat over the top food , etc.

Thank you for asking