None of us like to admit we need help, sumi, but we all do.

Please go tomorrow, sumi. Take care of yourself.

Thank you, everyone. Hopefully I'll hear back from one of the places soon and we can find a way to fit it into our budget.

I have a lot of anxiety about being judged as inadequate as a mother because of my disability, which I'm sure is playing into all of this. I have the TV off and the computer shutdown. Maybe I can actually get some sleep tonight.

I totally get that, sj. And it's a hard decision anyway, because when it is your first or only kid it's really difficult to know if you're doing it right -- and so many people have opinions on what "right" is. But daycare would be great for both you, believe me. And one of the really significant bonuses is the socialization and new environments for ltc. Like juliana said!

Sleep well, sj.

TFW you have to fire your helper over the phone at 10 pm b/c you accidentally violated child labor laws. ::sigh:: This will be a funny story one day, right?

It's good for the small humans to play together, and if you aren't in a situation where there are naturally occurring other small humans, you gotta find some way to bring them together. Considering how much judgment there is for every parenting decision every... is it just moms, or do dads get it, too?... mom gets, I can see how much more a mom with a disability would get.

I don't think the A&D ointment is helping my lips. Or maybe the dissolved aspirin is making it worse. I'm not going to the doctor for this. I'll take a razor blade and cut it off first.

WS, that sounds awful. I get the cracked lip corners thing sometimes too but not ever as bad as what you're describing. You already tried B vitamins and antifungal ointment right? What about cold sore ointment? You poor thing, I know that hurts!

I'm taking B-complex, cal-mag-zinc, iron, and I just started L-lysine today. Anti-fungal cream makes the area bleed (I've tried patch tests on other spots on my face, it's not allergy). Carmex and A&D ointment feel good going on, but half an hour later, it hurts again. Home antifungal remedies are hit-or-miss for relief. I have to kill it soon, I can't take much more.

Maybe bleach.

Smonster I'm sure it will be! Oops.

I am packed! I just have to wake up early and remember the things that are charging and shower and get to the airport! Eek!

sj, trust me when I say all moms I have ever known felt completely inadequate. We all second guess our choices. Guilt that we are not doing the best right thing abounds. (I got over it, kinda, for the most part) Anyway, I thought of you this morning when I read this article. Not because it describes your situation very closely at all, but because of the abundance of evidence that early child care benefits everyone. [link]

I am packed!

Whee! We are looking forward to seeing you tonight! (Commence the jealousy, Buffistas) We must be good with pictures. I tend to get caught up in fun having and forget.