I'm sorry Epic. That bites. My aunt is in hospice right now in Germany. I didn't know. I had posted something yesterday in memory of my mom and my cousin contacted me because she realized I knew what they are going through right now. We talked for a while and I wish there was more I could do for that family.

That whole partnership thing where one person has to step up and be the positive one when both are in that other place. I hates it.

I know those feels. I know those feels so well. But Nora, you and Tom are both the best. Please remember that.

Epic, I'm so sorry.

Count Chocula cereal: Pete's alarm went off at 4:30 this morning, because he was going to the airport. (He's one of the artist guests at a M:tG event in Atlanta this weekend.) Afterward, my brain decided to give me lots of slasher horror movie -themed nightmares, and then my neighbors started construction work at 7:30. Not cool, brain and neighbors!

That whole partnership thing where one person has to step up and be the positive one when both are in that other place. I hates it.

I know those feels. I know those feels so well. But Nora, you and Tom are both the best. Please remember that.

I agree with Jilli on both front: I married a dude with depression, so we've known that there will be times when both of us are in a lousy headspace. And sometimes that means we eat cookies of self-pity and watch TV, but sometimes one of us rallies and steps up to be the positive one. It sort of depends on the severity of the depression.

And yes, Nora, you and Tom ARE both the best. Even when you don't feel like it.

I'm sorry about your aunt, Suzi. It's so hard to know what to do when you want to help anyway, but even more so at such a distance.

*shoots a dirty look at Jilli's neighbors & encourages Jilli's subconscious to be more considerate*

Two months of hypervigilance, lights left on all night, and freezing at any unfamiliar noise gives me some insight, Jilli. I got a full night's sleep for the first time night before last--took me that long to unclench (H's been in NC minding his brother, recovering from surgery, and their mom, who needs supervision 24/7).

But we've done the emotional/operational/effective "take point" switchoff throughout our marriage. I've never considered any other way to be married, actually. I like being taken care of, especially when I'm flailing, but when I'm not, sometimes I need to be the boss. It's worked okay so far.

However, in tiny yay news, while I miss Pete when he's off at shows, this means I can burn ALL THE SCENTED CANDLES.

Two months of hypervigilance, lights left on all night, and freezing at any unfamiliar noise gives me some insight, Jilli. I got a full night's sleep for the first time night before last--took me that long to unclench

It's ridiculous, isn't it?! I sleep with a heavy croquet mallet by the bed when he's away.

It's even more ridiculous because I take not-inconsiderable meds to sleep, but I still lurch into groggy semi-consciousness at any noise.

I generally slept with a longsword in the bed when Hubby was away overnight.

It doesn't help that Vlad has taken to occasionally scrabbling at the bedroom door in the middle of the night, because he wants into the Forbidden To Kitties Room.