Spike's Bitches 49: As usual, I'm here to help you, and I... are you naked under there?
Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I meant to post an update last night, and I had some kind of inverse Daylight Saving Time effect going on, where I went to bed really early.
Yesterday I left to go grocery shopping, and not!son got a shower and Tim busted out a list of things not!son needed to do (call homeless shelters, etc). The closest homeless shelter was full, but they said if he calls at 9 this morning when they open, he should be able to get in. He called a bunch of shelters, and none of them had room last night. He said he wanted to go to an AA meeting, so Tim drove him over to the neighborhood where the meeting was, and then not!son said he'd ask at the meeting if there were any places to crash, and Tim came home.
I'm pretty sure not!son was out on the streets last night, and I do feel bad about that (we had a huge storm last night with really bad flooding). But as far as I know, he didn't text Tim asking if he could crash here last night.
His car is in our driveway for the time being, which is okay. He has a lot of stuff in there, like clothes and whatnot, and if he left it on the street, it might get broken into. So he'll need to come back here from time to time to get stuff, and that's okay for now.
So his next step is to call that homeless shelter at 9 a.m. and get in there, or somewhere else, and then see about temporary housing or low-income housing or something. But he also needs to see a lawyer about his DUI.
Tim is going to see if he can hook up not!son with some temp work at his job, because they actually desperately need someone to do some work in the warehouse. That may be a win-win.
So right now it's a bit of a holding pattern. This dude has got to turn his life around.
That sounds encouraging! Assisting without enabling FTW.
That does sound cautiously hopeful.
So many good thoughts to you and your friend, Bonny.
Teppy, there's a single hotline to contact all shelters: Cincinnati shelter hotline (513) 381-SAFE (7233). They are pretty often all full, sadly. A shelter should be able to hook him up with other resources, if he wants them. (Or tell him to ask at the library.)
Teppy, there's a single hotline to contact all shelters: Cincinnati shelter hotline (513) 381-SAFE (7233).
I think he managed to call direct lines for some of them (I was grocery shopping so I don't know firsthand, but that's what Tim made it sound like), and they all told him to call 381-SAFE. The one shelter that said he could get in if he called at 9 a.m. today is Bethany House. I really hope he set an alarm on his phone and called them. And I hope they were correct and they had a spot for him. I may also point him to the library for resources.
Teppy, I hope he found something, and I'm glad he is not at your home.
ltc woke up with tiny red dots everywhere. So we're heading to the pediatrician in a half hour.
Red spots! Oh no. Here's hoping it's something simple and easily resolved, sj.
That sounds encouraging! Assisting without enabling FTW.
I'm on the Team Boundaries bench, Tep. You are such a good person and, I believe, setting appropriate boundaries is the very best way to express that in the world.
i'm sending right-solution ~ma to Tim's not!son. May this transition lead to lasting relief.
And, thanks everyone, I deeply appreciate the good thoughts.
As sometimes happens with these things, Barbara has snapped back and is able to speak today. She's taking water for the first time in 3 days.
It was so good to be able to talk to her this morning, but my task will be to help the family to not get so excited that they are crushed by what this means. It's easy to grasp at this straw...but she had a lot of trouble finding words and mistook her daughter for her granddaughter. I've seen this before.
Barbara has a will stronger than an iron bar. She will cover for as long as she can, but this damage is permanent.
I'm off to set up arrangements for a memorial in the neighborhood. She is so well-loved, it wouldn't make sense to do it anywhere else. There will be a formal affair at the Folger Library, for which, she was the director for many years. If anyone reads Shakespeare Quarterly, the last issue was devoted to her colleagues talking about her amazing work.
She's a gift.
Hand foot and mouth disease. The joys of preschool continue.
{sj & ltc} Joy indeed.
Oh beekaytee, what a roller coaster this stage can be. Wishes for serenity.
Ugh, things are lousy with not!son. I went to take the trash out half an hour ago, and not!son pops out of his car (which is parked in our driveway). Scared the crap out of me. He said that Tim told him to not bother me because I'm working. Which is true.
But he tried to sleep at a neighborhood baseball field last night, with little success (huge thunderstorm, temperatures dropped a lot). So he got a bus back here and planned to nap in his car.
Tim did apparently hook him up with some work, so not!son was going to walk over there (it's about a mile and a half). But he was exhausted and freezing, so I brought him inside and gave him 2 cups of hot coffee and made him a bagel with cream cheese. (I won't let him stay here, but I'm not heartless. Being cold and hungry and tired SUCKS, and if a bagel and a hot beverage is enabling him, I can live with that.)
The only homeless shelter with a spot open said that he needs an official job, with a paystub as proof, in order to stay there (I assume it's more of a halfway house than an actual homeless shelter, given the requirement to have a job). And he doesn't have an actual paystub job, and this gig at Tim's work is strictly off the books.
So he's still homeless. Tim doesn't want him to have his car while his license is suspended, which I understand. But if he can't get into a shelter, and he can't stay here, and he apparently doesn't have any other people with a place he can crash, then he has to live in his car. But not in our driveway. He wants to move his car closer to where his girlfriend and their 2 daughters live (about 20 minutes from us), which is a whole other kettle of fish. GF and daughters live with GF's mother. When not!son, GF, and daughter #1 moved back from Texas, they lived with GF's mother. I don't know what exactly transpired, but GF's mother kicked not!son out of the house. This was probably 2 years ago. And after the DUI, GF's mother said that he's not allowed anywhere near her house and she'll call the police if he shows up. (GF's mother is kind of unstable, but OTOH, she's providing a home for GF and her 2 daughters, so.)
So as things stand right now, not!son is homeless but has (I think) an off-the-books job at Tim's work. I'm really angry at him for dragging Tim into this. So, SO angry.
