'Safe'
Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I get that. But you are right. I'm sorry it takes being the monster, but that is the situation, not you. A situation you did not create.
You are so very much in the right here. For yourself, which is enough, but also for Tim and Ex's Son. It may feel like it but you are in no way wrong.
Tim may be counting on you to be the monster. He may need you to be the backstop he can use to make the boundaries stick.
Tim may be counting on you to be the monster.
Which is why I'm not sure who I'm angriest at. It might be Tim.
I've taken 1 whole Ativan already, and I might take more. I am so full of rage right now.
That's not being a monster, that's knowing what will work for basic functioning of your family. He *does* have other options, he just has to choose to explore them. Might not be as cozy as your couch, but there are shelters and programs. And if Tim wants to help him navigate that, fine. But drawing this line doesn't make you a monster. Just aware of what will and will not work.
You can be angry at everyone.
HULK LIKE RAGING FIRE; THOR LIKE TINY FLAME
Again, no Like button.
The combination of the Hulk quote and my tagline is my current mental state. I should be asleep from the Ativan, but I'm too agitated. That's powerful agitation.
I remember when Hubby's daughter, at age 16 and pregnant, was floating the idea of moving in with us. The idea made me nearly nuts. I don't know if my horror at the idea gave Hubby the impetus to say "No" or if was a conversation I had with her. She was saying she was looking forward to this and that and then said, "And you'll be getting me up in the morning to get to school." "No, I won't," I said, blinking at her, "you can get yourself up to go to school." She seemed utterly flabbergasted.
You have to set these boundaries. I had to do it with my son because 25 was my cutoff. He hasn't communicated with me in 6 weeks now. At some point they have to figure it out themselves. He has all the tools for a successful life. Rescuing him again is called enabling. He won't call or message me now until he needs something, and then I have to say no. Ah, parenting joy.