Steph, that is awful.
sj, if she's anything like my kids, she'll go through several phases of clinging to you and then not caring if you leave, then being clingy again. Rose was in daycare from 4 months onward, yet when she was 3 (and had just transitioned to a new room at school, right around the time that Jane was born) she went through a horrible phase of screaming and crying if we left her at daycare, even though she later came to adore that teacher more than any other she's had before or since. Laura is totally right that you'd feel bad if she was clinging and you had to leave her in that state, too!
She's growing up in a safe and loving home and family, and I trust that you feel she is safe and loved at her daycare too. That's the important thing.
TW: infanticide (I white-fonted)
So, there was a horrible, horrible murder of an 18-month-old baby in New Orleans by her father because he said God told him to do it.
link
I actually used to work with him. So I'm a little shocked and shook.
Teppy, can you make an anonymous complaint to CPS? This doesn't sound like a safe environment for children.
Suzi, glad you were able to get in with your doc. I hope the changes make a difference soon.
sj, you're a good mom. LTC is a toddler with strong feelings and opinions, which will probably change on a minute by minute basis. She's loved and healthy and safe. Please be kind to yourself.
Teppy, can you make an anonymous complaint to CPS? This doesn't sound like a safe environment for children.
Today would be a good day to do so, since the police were there - the mother might think the cops had reported her rather than being sure it had to have been a neighbor.
Especially when she was younger, Matilda saved all her worst behavior for me when I picked her up from school. She just unloaded all her stored up complaints and resentments for a thoroughly undelightful (TM Emmett) walk home of unceasing negativity.
Oh lord, yes. Perfect little angels at school because they are saving all their tantrums for Mom. GEE THANKS KIDS. (I mean, intellectually I know it's because they trust me & DH enough to unload all this crap, which is good, but emotionally, it's exhausting.)
When we picked the kids up from sleepaway camp this summer, A emphatically did not want to come home. She denied missing us at all and wanted to live at camp forever. Which was a very mixed bag of okay, good parenting because we gave her this experience which she loved, and yay that she's so mature and independent, but also...really? No homesickness at all after two weeks? (In reality, she just REALLY hates talking about feelings, so no matter what she's feeling her default response is a grumpy eye-roll. And she resents us utterly for not providing her with a big sister, so after being spoiled rotten by the older girls in her cabin I can understand why coming home to her family would be a let down!)
Oh god Nora, that is awful.
Yes, as an older parent I had seen this behavior with my siblings and friends, but understanding it doesn't make it sting less in the moment. Kids!
I'm assuming I can't read that today, Nora, but love to you for whatever it is.
Thanks, Hec and everyone else. ltc was horrible the rest of the day yesterday, even for her grandparents. She was also pulling at her ear and babbling in her sleep last night. So, I think yesterday was a particularly bad teething day. I do feel bad when other kids are clinging to their mothers in the morning, and mine doesn't even notice if I leave, and never wants to leave with me at the end of the day.
What Jessica said, too. The reason kids feel comfortable giving their parents (or other close relatives/caregivers) the very worst of their behavior is because they know what to expect from them. They know that if they tantrum or scream or whatever, you will still be there, which is -- as Jessica noted -- horrible to go through, but pretty good when you think about it.
The other thing is that a parent's goal (in my eyes) should be raising a capable, caring human being who can survive on their own. And that's what ltc's love of school shows -- she's confident enough to know she enjoys it and wants to stay, and not quite mature enough to reasonably articulate how much she'd rather play more than come home. It's absolutely not a reflection on you.
::hugs Suzi, and smonster, and everyone else in this bar::
