My dad gave me birthday money and kind of reminded me why I don't work on our relationship anymore(although he has come around on healthcare, just not enough to, like, do anything. Argh!) Anyway, the one that killed me is him bitching about my cousin not Thinking Ahead and Planning For The Future. Which makes sense(she was always indulged enough to make her a pain) until you consider facts like her being on her second or third kidney and that the family was kind of worried her marriage was a sweetheart scam...after fifteen years I'm guessing it's just weird and we don't understand it...maybe it's okay that she lives for the moment more... I wish I would have, but I've been an ant my whole life*and yes, part of that was his conditioning to wait for a free moment that never arrives.

Sending love to Liese and Maria and anyone else who is hurting. I was behind in here and just started to catch up.

Liese, if the IL portion of your travel is near Chicago, I'd be happy to lend an ear, or a hideaway.

Wish I could be in D.C. with you Sorella.

I had a job interview. It went really well. Although I realized I forgot to ask some questions but the guy skipped over q bunch of stuff he would normally ask because of my experience.

I would be selling women's clothes or accessories. Which means I need clothes and accessories...well I have some but not this kind of wardrobe. Full time there is 30ish hours. If you work 30wjatever hours for 26 consecutive weeks you are full time.

So I will have less than 30 hours but for now this could be good for me. I was worried about being confident and seeming like a sales person but that's how I was. I realised it's a persona I can slip on and in the past I've burntout trying to be that all the time. But I don't have to be it's a persona or a mask and is like a uniform . After work I take it off.

Fingers crossed I get it. The guy did say he was going to be out of town but said he'd be intouch and gave me his cell number so I think that's a good sign

Well done, askye. Yes, I would say giving you his cell number was a good sign.

I can't get new painkillers until Monday, because the office didn't call me until half an hour before they closed to tell me that I could pick up the prescription. I can't take too much Advil, because it's irritating my stomach, but I'll take some. Fuck.

I'm only semi-fasting for Yom Kippur. I'm having water and meds. And I'm probably going to end up sleeping most of the day tomorrow -- there's no way that any of my joints can handle going to even a regular Shabbat service, but definitely not the several hours of a Yom Kippur service.

Ugh, we share our back porch with our other neighbors on the top floor.

And when I'm back in my nerdhole I can hear what's happening on the porch.

And the neighbor guy is out on the back porch making a deal with some other guy about buying a car and he's saying all this racist shit.

And it's...how would you say. Not KKK, NeoNazi, Alt-Right racist. More like casual South Park Libertarian Reddit TechBro racist.

Aware enough to speak about the advantages of being in a monoculture (of white techbros) with an undercurrent of "those people" and "not safe for his kid to ride on the bus" (because...not a white monoculture).

I don't interact with him much, but he knows better than to let his mask slip around our family. But, I've eaten his BBQ in the backyard and now I know he's a shitty fucking racist techbro from Nevada.

Also superboring car conversation about "not my favorite transmission, I drove the CTI..." blah blah blah - but laced with casual racism.

This is like when the coworker I was very friendly with let slip some similar shit about why she didn't want BART access in her suburb because "the wrong people" would have access to her town. (Like freeway exits had checkpoints or something.)

Ugh, I hate that David. On one side you know they have some level of knowing it is racist because they keep that side hidden from you, but ignorance is bliss? I've had the same experience and it sucks. I may live in a bubble, but I love my bubble.

I'm so sorry that you don't have a reasonable solution for pain, Hil.