I am getting double pay today, so it's fine, really.

Steph, if it is allowed and has not been done already, move some things from his place to the new room. His favorite chair, pictures, pillows. Anything that will make his room feel like his house and offer him familiarity.

The new room is referred to as a studio apartment*, and it's unfurnished, so all of the furnishings will be his. I'm hoping that helps somewhat. We'll move his TV over -- residents get cable, which will make him happy because he can watch Fox News. Although his room is also right across from a recreational area with a HUGE TV, so I'm hoping he'll wander out there to watch TV and make some friends.

*(It has a kitchenette, which is cabinets, a mini-fridge, and a sink/counter, but no oven or other appliances. And that's fine, because his room is the closest one to the dining room. If he really wants his microwave and/or Keurig, we'll move them over there.)

Double pay is good.

I'm honestly not sure there's anything more brutal for family members than dementia.

I can vouch for this. The one month of dementia and clinical depression my dad suffered due to sodium imbalance a few years ago was harder on Mom and me than the 37 years of paralysis and multiple hospitalizations due to physical ailments. I knew enough about psychology and neurology to compartmentalize somewhat and try not to let it get under my skin, but it really put Mom through the wringer hearing Dad say such delusional things nonstop. (And it was nonstop, Dad was just constantly talking about imagined worse-case scenarios whenever he was awake.)

What Matt said. Both ND and I have experienced this with our family members, and it's gut-wrenching.

From across the Cubicle Wall: "You know when you pull out one single nose hair, and it hurts so much? The whole side of my face is on fire! It's like when you pull out an eyebrow hair! It's just AGGGHH!"

Strange to hear a dudebro complaining about plucking his eyebrows.

Hang in there, Steph. Things will probably get better for a while after he settles into his new space and his medical situation gets managed; but of course in the long term, there isn't a lot of hope. Dementia sucks.

My brother forwarded a study about how people who drink lots of tea have lower incidence of dementia, so I feel vindicated about my tea problem.

In the rundown of the substantiated sex abuse cases, I personally knew 5 of the perpetrators.

Oh, flea, that's all so horrible and sad.

Steph, I hope Tim's dad settles into his new place and is soon able to be content. My mom strongly resisted going into assisted living, but it wasn't long before she was happy there. She played piano for everyone, and made friends, and complained about the (excellent) food, and the staff loved her. It was so so much better for her and all of us than trying to keep her at home.

My brother forwarded a study about how people who drink lots of tea have lower incidence of dementia, so I feel vindicated about my tea problem.

My sister and I are always talking about how we can avoid this fate. Probably the best thing we could do is exercise more, which is of course the thing we're both least inclined to do.

From across the Cubicle Wall: "You know when you pull out one single nose hair, and it hurts so much? The whole side of my face is on fire! It's like when you pull out an eyebrow hair! It's just AGGGHH!"

It hurts a guy that much to pull out an eyebrow hair? Guys, I need someone to test this. Just yank out one eyebrow hair and report back.

My grandparents recently moved out of their three-story colonial into assisted living, and Nana is not adjusting well. Even though she has access to many more activities now (their apartment is down the hall from the pool, there is a knitting group, a book club, etc) because she doesn't need my grandfather to drive her, she feels like she's lost her freedom. We're pretty sure part of her crankiness is due to the early stages of dementia, though, so they really moved just in time.

(PS if anyone wants to buy an antiquarian book business with a gorgeous house attached, they're still looking for buyers!)

their apartment is down the hall from the pool

Jack's new studio has a huge window that looks straight out onto the outdoor pool. We feel like once it opens, he'll be pretty happy about all the ladies out there.

It's really like he's moved into a college dorm, without the pesky going-to-class part. The dining room is around the corner, the activity room is across from his studio, and if you wander down the hall a bit, the facility has an area that's like a student union, with a bank, a beauty shop/barber, a small grocery, a fitness center, a billiards room, a library, and a bistro. The grounds has a greenhouse for gardening, walking trails, golf, lawn bowling, shuffleboard, and the aforementioned outdoor pool, which is heated.

All of us have said we'd love to move there.