The meeting with Tim's dad and his care team went mostly well. The physical therapist gave us the rundown on his physical condition (not frail, but he needs a lot more physical therapy to be able to live independently), the nurse manager gave us the rundown on his medical condition (he still has a catheter, he has cataract surgery scheduled, and his memory issues are pretty significant), and the social worker gave us an overview of what his options are in terms of his living situation.

Basically, everyone except Tim's dad agrees that, at the very least, he can't go home in the short term, until he's recovered from cataract surgery AND the catheter situation is resolved (which probably also means surgery). He would require too much medical care at home, and where he lives is so isolated that it's hard to get care workers to go out there. And the physical therapist was really straightforward about the fact that she doesn't think he should be left alone right now because he's a fall risk. (She said that she can't believe he hasn't fallen yet.)

Tim's dad cried (my fear was that he'd get furious at us for ganging up on him, and then he ended up crying through part of the meeting) because he just wants to go back home. But despite that, the decision was made to move him into a studio apartment in the assisted living facility that's attached to the rehab facility (literally attached -- you can walk over there without ever going outside).

The assisted living includes medical monitoring and delivery of meds, along with 3 hot meals a day in the dining room. His room is close to the dining room, and we went to look in on the dining room to see what it's like (pretty fancy, actually, and the menu looked really good), and it's close to the activity room. The staff checks in with the residents throughout the day and encourages them to go participate in the social activities (there are 4-6 things PER DAY; it's chock full of fun stuff to do).

It's actually a seriously swanky place and I kind of want to live there.

So for the short term, he has to get the catheter situation resolved and get his cataract surgery and get enough PT to get some strength and balance back. Which probably takes us up to July or August. And after that, we'll re-evaluate. I honestly don't think he's going back home. I'm hoping that after a few weeks in the assisted living side, he'll start to enjoy the social activities and being fussed over by all the women there (they were already checking him out when we peeked in the dining room) (apparently the fact that he has a full head of hair and all his own teeth will make him a prime catch).

Steph, it sounded like it went as well as it could. (he still might get mad later but this sounds really good).

I do hope that he starts socializing and that it makes him happier. I know when G'ma went into assisted living she seemed happier to have peole to talk to (even if she coudldn't remember a lot)

That sounds like a really good outcome. Love to all of you.

IJWTS if the only things left for sale on the Perfect for Passover table are marshmallows, candy, and gluten-free matzo-like squares, it's pretty much inevitable that I will have a bowl of marshmallows and chocolate-covered raspberry rings for dinner.

Steph, that ALF sounds much like where Dad was, and it worked pretty well for him. I admit that a lot of the activities are, well, kind of simple. But they are activities, and if he's not trapped in the memory care section with mostly people who can't communicate, he may settle in okay.

Good luck.

Damn, this tribute to Carrie Fisher. Ouch.

Damn, this tribute to Carrie Fisher. Ouch.

Yeah, that's ouchie.

We accidentally bought the GF faux-matzo this year (because midnight shopping the night before ALWAYS works so well) and it turns out that it's way tastier than real matzo!

Huh. I did not get any because I still had two boxes out of the case I bought last year, but maybe I will try some next time I see it.

I just don't want to.

I was kind of shuddering at the thought of gluten-free matzoh, but then I remembered rice crackers, which are delicious. What are they like?

That all sounds promising, Steph. And remember you can basically go forever on "you'll be here until X, and then we'll see how you're doing." Or even better (depending on if this is compelling), "and then THE DOCTOR will see how you're doing."

I hope your FiL takes to the assisted living. I know it must have been difficult, but it sounds like it was the best outcome.

So today isn't a huge holiday in the US, right? Even though it's a very religious holiday, for some reason, it feels like one of the days where nothing is open. Sigh. I realized at 11 last night that I had no coffee in the house...but then I found I jar of instant that I use for baking. It wasn't bad. But since I put cream and sugar in my coffee, I can manage all but the worst coffees.