I have to preface some things for H with, "This is an observation, not a request (or complaint)" in order for him to not interpret it as a request or a requisition. Perhaps "This is a question, not an instruction. I need an honest answer" would work?

Plus, if you ask the employee for an honest expectation of completion, you're getting the employee to "buy-in" on the project! (god, I hate business jargon, there are all these motivational posters around the building, and I stare at them and wonder why anyone expects us to take them seriously)

I ask "Can this be done this afternoon?" and actually mean that as a question that the answer could be no.

I would definitely consider that a directive more than a question.

Historically women in managerial positions would often try to soften the tone of their instructions by phrasing them as questions like that so they wouldn't be perceived as bitchy. Pure sexism, of course, but when I worked in offices I was almost always supervised by a woman (because HR) and there was that tendency to couch commands as queries.

I have come to realize that I have a similar issue where questions I ask are perceived as challenges when they truly are just me looking to acquire additional information. I don't know what to do about that.

Historically women in managerial positions would often try to soften the tone of their instructions by phrasing them as questions like that so they wouldn't be perceived as bitchy.

My old AMA coordinator is the one who used "feel free" to mean "I want you to do this, preferably today." And I misunderstood, because the rest of the world uses "feel free" to mean "if you want to do this, go for it, but if you don't want to do this, that's 100% fine too." That's softening the tone *too* much.

Also, I have no cake.

Woes, they took down our rainbow. When I asked why, I got "we were told" as an answer, so I guess that increasing transparency and improving communication directive has really taken root.

Got my prescription filled, only took 40 minutes of waiting around. Not bad!

Does it help that it's a today task that will mean two days off?

Not really. What's making it hard is that two of the people who I should be explaining things to aren't here today so I can't, like, ask them if my explanations make sense. Hopefully they can just let stuff slide until Wednesday. It's a short week anyway, no one should be expecting too much from anyone.

Alas for the lack of cake.

Well, apparently the State University Retirement System (SURS) can take up to 6 months to determine what your monthly pension will be so that amount I've been receiving is provisional. I hope they determine that it should be more. . . not holding my breath.

I bought myself cupcakes! CAKE!!

Hooray cake!

That's odd, sumi. I hope you do get more, that would be pleasant.

Yay cake!

Good luck, Sumi.

I have come to realize that I have a similar issue where questions I ask are perceived as challenges when they truly are just me looking to acquire additional information. I don't know what to do about that.

When I'm doing it well, I try to listen to myself and double-check that the person is hearing what I mean to be saying.

Oh, NB: In a separate conversation this week, my boss did that that this particular team member "needs to take a chill pill." So I am pretty confident this particular situation isn't 100% on me.