I ask "Can this be done this afternoon?" and actually mean that as a question that the answer could be no.

The only way I can think to ask that without an expectation would be "When is a reasonable time to get this done?" It's very hard to tell a manager "No" unless you know that manager very well. Maybe a variation of "I'm getting some hints that the higher ups would like this done this afternoon. Do you think that's reasonable?"

The only way I can think to ask that without an expectation would be "When is a reasonable time to get this done?"

Yeah, that's how I mean to do it. At least then it can be a conversation.

It's very hard to tell a manager "No" unless you know that manager very well.

I had a Program Manager that often heard NO from me. He would ask for completely unreasonable time frames, so we just ended up starting every response with "No...but I can do xyz by Monday". We worked together for years and I swear he would make up crazy deadlines just to negotiate what he really wanted. His wife LOVED that someone dared to tell him no on a regular basis.

I have to preface some things for H with, "This is an observation, not a request (or complaint)" in order for him to not interpret it as a request or a requisition. Perhaps "This is a question, not an instruction. I need an honest answer" would work?

Plus, if you ask the employee for an honest expectation of completion, you're getting the employee to "buy-in" on the project! (god, I hate business jargon, there are all these motivational posters around the building, and I stare at them and wonder why anyone expects us to take them seriously)

I ask "Can this be done this afternoon?" and actually mean that as a question that the answer could be no.

I would definitely consider that a directive more than a question.

Historically women in managerial positions would often try to soften the tone of their instructions by phrasing them as questions like that so they wouldn't be perceived as bitchy. Pure sexism, of course, but when I worked in offices I was almost always supervised by a woman (because HR) and there was that tendency to couch commands as queries.

I have come to realize that I have a similar issue where questions I ask are perceived as challenges when they truly are just me looking to acquire additional information. I don't know what to do about that.

Historically women in managerial positions would often try to soften the tone of their instructions by phrasing them as questions like that so they wouldn't be perceived as bitchy.

My old AMA coordinator is the one who used "feel free" to mean "I want you to do this, preferably today." And I misunderstood, because the rest of the world uses "feel free" to mean "if you want to do this, go for it, but if you don't want to do this, that's 100% fine too." That's softening the tone *too* much.

Also, I have no cake.

Woes, they took down our rainbow. When I asked why, I got "we were told" as an answer, so I guess that increasing transparency and improving communication directive has really taken root.

Got my prescription filled, only took 40 minutes of waiting around. Not bad!

Does it help that it's a today task that will mean two days off?

Not really. What's making it hard is that two of the people who I should be explaining things to aren't here today so I can't, like, ask them if my explanations make sense. Hopefully they can just let stuff slide until Wednesday. It's a short week anyway, no one should be expecting too much from anyone.

Alas for the lack of cake.

Well, apparently the State University Retirement System (SURS) can take up to 6 months to determine what your monthly pension will be so that amount I've been receiving is provisional. I hope they determine that it should be more. . . not holding my breath.