My self care lately has been signing up for this running program (because otherwise I wouldn't get my ass to the gym/in motion), and lots of what we've been calling "family dinner", which a few friends and I have been doing lately--meeting at someone's house to hang out and cooking dinner there rather than going out. Those do usually involve a lot of wine though

Oh man, I just read someone's account of how her husband was grading college senior math exams and got a note from one student asking him to meet for drinks "and other things" at a bar so she could explain why he should review his grading and see if he might have made mistakes. He obliviously reviewed the test, found a couple of additional mistakes he'd overlooked the first time, lowered the grade, and thanked the student for asking him to double check his work.

Dear person demanding to know who owns this order and why there is such a problem with it: you do. And your mistake is the root of all these delays. Kthxbye

That seems like a pretty good list to me, msbelle. Stressing yourself out about giving yourself "enough" self-care doesn't seem like a good thing.

I have not been nearly as thoughtful about my self-care. And I want something indulgent right now, like a bag of chips or a free bagel or something.

I think the term "self care" is tricky, because your self has long-term and short-term needs, you know? So probably for me ACTUAL self-care is eating a salad, but a bag of chips feels like self-care. (I think that's where shopping comes in, right? Taking care of yourself includes living by a budget and whatever, but shopping feels so right!)

So probably for me ACTUAL self-care is eating a salad, but a bag of chips feels like self-care.

Taking care of yourself includes living by a budget and whatever, but shopping feels so right!

Yeah, I read something once that said something along those lines, like we always think self-care is ice cream and Netflix, but self-care is ALSO paying bills and going to the dentist and getting the tires rotated. I think the idea is that self-care should encompass both (1) time for ourselves, which can be indulgent, and (2) literally taking care of stuff that needs to happen to keep our lives trundling forward.

Yeah, sure, what is self-care as an occasional thing can become self-destructive as a habit. Can't imagine that is a bright line most of the time.

And I think it's also hard to distinguish between "things I gotta do for my own good" and "things expected of me by family or society or whatever that I am actually better off without" because they both feel like obligations.

See also: wants vs needs, our own and others'

Russia, Canada, Costco, and JCP are all conspiring to make me a giant ball of stress, which apparently makes me chatty!

ETA: and now the Caribbean is getting in on the fun. You are not supposed to increase my stress levels, tropical islands!