Stepdad's Mom went to a senior daycare when she started to get dementia. They dropped her off and picked her up every day.

Man, you get 3 square meals that you don't need to cook yourself, lots of interaction with people, and optional interesting activities -- what's not to like?

I'm down. Where do I sign up?

Our house is an emotional roller coaster right now. Who knew CJ would turn out to be the stable one? With Cory (the bf) getting fired, their plans to move out are on hold. He completely afraid of upsetting Kelly and that he is responsible for them not moving out. I don't know if he has thought about the health care implications - he had coverage for himself and both his kids - one who has severe autism. Kelly knows he is fragile right now, so she is putting on a strong, "I'm not worried" front for him but after he fell asleep, she crawled in my bed crying. Me, I'm trying to provide the "Hey, you are safe, you have a roof over your head, I'm not kicking you out" support but man, I was looking forward to them moving out too. I love them both, but it is time. I want my home office to not be a corner of my bedroom. I want to enjoy spending time with them instead of being annoyed when dishes pile up and I been gone on a business trip.

Where is my internet ready cave?

That sounds like a rough situation SuziQ. I hope things work themselves out before too long.

Steph, would it be possible to have him go to a daytime center where he'd get lunch plus interaction? kind of daddy day-care ... or have someone come in to check on him during the day?

Those options exist, but in the past he flatly refused them. At this point, *if* he goes home, he will definitely have to have some kind of daily home care, and it's non-negotiable.

Good luck with Tim's dad, Steph. And I sympathize on supporting the stoic.

Suzi, that's so hard on K and her guy--and on the rest of you, too. I had both mine boomerang on me, and feelings are many and muddled, for everybody. It never stops being hard to be a parent.

That's rough, Suzi. Sympathies for all of you, I hope something works out for the better soon.

Steph, it would be a good idea to check out the home care options as well. Hubs's sister (basically wheelchair-bound) has an aide that comes in mornings to help her dress, pull together one to two meals (I'm not sure which), help with meds, do a little light cleaning, that sort of thing. There's also a nurse that comes in regularly -- I'm not sure how often, but it's at least 2-3 times a week -- to take her vital signs. When she was mobile, a physical therapist came in 2-3 times a week. So there's someone coming in fairly regularly during the day.

And it isn't like Hubs's sister has major assets or health insurance to pay for it.

Steph, it would be a good idea to check out the home care options as well.

We're definitely looking at that, too, even if it's just for the near future while decisions are being made on assisted living facilities.

Steph, I hope that Tim and his brothers are successful in getting your FiL into assisted care. I live with a lot of guilt and regret that I didn't push my father harder on that before he died suddenly, it would have made the last 8 years of my mother's life, and mine, very different.

I live with a lot of guilt and regret that I didn't push my father harder on that before he died suddenly

My perception is that they feel like they're walking a fine line between wanting to respect his autonomy and wanting to make the decision to go with assisted living because he can't (or won't) make that decision.

Although I suspect it was a harder decision while things were status quo while he was at home. Now that he has actual medical issues that they're witnessing first hand, they may all quickly get on Team Assisted Living. The reality of his health might make the decision very easy in a way it wasn't before.