I have come to a decidion. I am leaving early* and going to happy hour.

'* early meaning before my "scheduled" time to leave, but after I have put in over 40 hours if I count the vacation time and sick time that already got taken out of my paycheck

I think the "more jobs" rationale is up posed to be less time and money spent on ...safety ...means more money for hiring people.

Really it means more money for CEOs to shove in their pockets

Askye posted EXACTLY what I was thinking.

The state of the country is not doing great things for my anxiety. I am trying to keep it in check, by focusing on specific tasks. I am doing a brain dump here to, well to brain dump and also to see it all written out for myself.

- listed 13 things on ebay - sold 7 (relisted the rest) - $200+
- started back to gym on semi-regular schedule (WITH FRIEND!! YAY!) - 3 days this week
- had E drive to school - amazingly this driving thing is been amazing for our relationship, he is talking to me and gave me an unsolicited hug and is sharing stuff
- prepping for Whole Life Challenge menu starting Monday - I have been clearing out food that will not be allowed, bagged up some for food pantry
- upon discovering that credit cards are maxed out: made payments to both cards, applied for new 0% card to transfer some of balance
- personal financial belt tightening (see above) - aside from a scheduled massage, only spent $10 (used cash) this week. took lunches, used gift cards, ate in.
- cleaning: stayed on top of dishes, cleared some of kitchen counter, started on laundry tonight.

had E drive to school - amazingly this driving thing is been amazing for our relationship, he is talking to me and gave me an unsolicited hug and is sharing stuff

That's fantastic. As is all your other stuff!

I am just barely paying attention to the outside world, because I Cannot Deal.

Msbelle glad driving is helping your relationship.

This...like knowing people are gleeful about the ...all the horrible things that are happening makes me so angry and I keep thinking violent thoughts towards those people. I don't want to think those things.

I'd really like to go to a protest just to feel other people fighting the same way I but I'm not there yet. I am slowly feel that ignoring the world is the only way to keep from becoming like those people.

Monday I'll call Tillis again. Call and get Burr's full voicemail. Tomorrow, like everyday, I'll go back to trying to reply to people with compassion and kindness. And step away when I need to.

This...like knowing people are gleeful about the ...all the horrible things that are happening makes me so angry and I keep thinking violent thoughts towards those people. I don't want to think those things.

I spend about ten minutes each day imagining various people experiencing the exploding head scene in Scanners.

I find it therapeutic.

Though I am mindful that my long held hate-wish for Scalia did no good at all.

Goddamnit. Met a cute girl last weekend. She put herself in my phone as "Jo the cute girl in the beanie" and we texted and she said she'd teach me to play pool, and we could t get together this weekend but she'd make it worth the wait. And then tonight she suddenly texts to be like "uh, this may have seemed like a date but it can't be a date just a friend thing hope that's ok". Wtf.

Re: Jo the cute girl in the beanie

Humans, man. WtF indeed.

I finally dragged my coughing butt into a walk in clinic and found out I have a sinus infection and bronchitis. And now I have antibiotics and a cough suppressant. So at least things should clear up in a week or so. Yay. At least it's not walking pneumonia.

My senators have both joined the ranks of those too scared to meet with their constituents. I had a whole script prepared and everything! While I appreciate the idea that protests, calls, etc. are having an effect, just sequestering themselves away and continuing to do things I find abhorrent are not the end result I'm looking for. I'm tempted to donate a dollar to each of them to see if there's a secret supporters' gathering that I can attend with some of my local lefties.

I'd say delete Jo the cute girl in the beanie from your phone unless you have a much higher tolerance for mindgames than I do, meara. She was definitely intentionally trying to make you think she was into you.