Koko was such a force for awareness of the depth and breadth of primate--possibly other animals as well--emotional and rational life. I'm sure she was happy in her life, with unusual enrichment, and relationships with her keepers and trainers.

I'm glad we humans had her to teach us.

Also, I'm sorry, Gud.

And yay! for ceiling cat release!

I'm sorry, Gud. You're not worthless.

Just remember, Gud, how you FEEL is not the same as what you ARE. It is awful to feel worthless, but you aren't worthless, not to your wife and kids and your friends, and not to those who depend upon your work and not just for your own smart, funny, hard-working and deeply kind self.

That sucks, Gud. I hope your day has improved.

TIL that there's a bar near me that is like a froyo shop, but for beer, wine, and cider. You get a glass and a bracelet that they link to your credit card. There's a wall of taps. You go to whatever looks interesting and pour however much you want. You get charged by the ounce. If you want to try a splash of cider and follow it up by two ounces of IPA and round it off with a full 8 oz of stout, go for it. The bracelet automatically cuts you off after 32 oz, but you can reload it if the owners think you don't look too blitzed. If localistas are interested, it's [link]

Gud, I think it's time for me to say this: You need to see a therapist. You have been too down on yourself for too long. For a long time, you have been so much harder on yourself than justified by any objective reality.

Please. See a therapist or a med manager (psychiatrist). At the very least, see your regular doctor and try to get some medication to help out.

Please don't do what I did. I had to have a nervous breakdown (and trust me, that's a bit of a euphemism) before I could start turning things around. It's much better to start working on yourself before you get to that point.

Neat, Calli!

Those would be short discussions if I had to have them, Dana.

(a) HELL NO and (b) ALSO HELL NO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NO t /conversation

Gud, listen to Scrappy. Her reputation as wise is well-earned.

How are you doing, Fred?

Fairly well, Jesse. I've been making a lot of effort to get healthy. And I'm making progress. (In some ways, it helps that I'm eligible to retire in September -- where has the time gone? -- even if I'm likely to keep working another year to solidify the financial picture.) One big issue remaining to be resolved, which I'm not ready to discuss in detail.

I don't remember -- did I mention my back surgery at the end of April? (Herniated disks pressed on spinal cord, causing numbness in feet.) I'm in the physical therapy stage, so oddly, I may be in the best shape I've been in for years. I'm using a cane because my feet are still pretty numb -- it takes time for the inflamed nerves to calm down.

And between physical therapy and other appointments, I'm working from home most of the time and going in to the office about one day a week. Which saves a couple of hours a day on the commute.