I'm sorry, Gud. You're not worthless.
Lydia: But you are a vampire. Spike: If I'm not, I'm gonna be pissed about drinking all that blood.
'Potential'
Natter 75: More Than a Million Natters Served
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Dana - Jun 21, 2018 9:03:07 am PDT #26489 of 30002
I'm terrifically busy with my ennui.
Scrappy - Jun 21, 2018 9:11:17 am PDT #26490 of 30002
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Just remember, Gud, how you FEEL is not the same as what you ARE. It is awful to feel worthless, but you aren't worthless, not to your wife and kids and your friends, and not to those who depend upon your work and not just for your own smart, funny, hard-working and deeply kind self.
Calli - Jun 21, 2018 9:29:43 am PDT #26491 of 30002
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
That sucks, Gud. I hope your day has improved.
TIL that there's a bar near me that is like a froyo shop, but for beer, wine, and cider. You get a glass and a bracelet that they link to your credit card. There's a wall of taps. You go to whatever looks interesting and pour however much you want. You get charged by the ounce. If you want to try a splash of cider and follow it up by two ounces of IPA and round it off with a full 8 oz of stout, go for it. The bracelet automatically cuts you off after 32 oz, but you can reload it if the owners think you don't look too blitzed. If localistas are interested, it's [link]
Fred Pete - Jun 21, 2018 9:45:10 am PDT #26492 of 30002
Ann, that's a ferret.
Gud, I think it's time for me to say this: You need to see a therapist. You have been too down on yourself for too long. For a long time, you have been so much harder on yourself than justified by any objective reality.
Please. See a therapist or a med manager (psychiatrist). At the very least, see your regular doctor and try to get some medication to help out.
Please don't do what I did. I had to have a nervous breakdown (and trust me, that's a bit of a euphemism) before I could start turning things around. It's much better to start working on yourself before you get to that point.
-t - Jun 21, 2018 9:54:04 am PDT #26493 of 30002
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
Neat, Calli!
Jessica - Jun 21, 2018 10:14:36 am PDT #26494 of 30002
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
Those would be short discussions if I had to have them, Dana.
(a) HELL NO and (b) ALSO HELL NO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NO t /conversation
Gud, listen to Scrappy. Her reputation as wise is well-earned.
Jesse - Jun 21, 2018 11:15:17 am PDT #26495 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
How are you doing, Fred?
Fred Pete - Jun 21, 2018 11:26:23 am PDT #26496 of 30002
Ann, that's a ferret.
Fairly well, Jesse. I've been making a lot of effort to get healthy. And I'm making progress. (In some ways, it helps that I'm eligible to retire in September -- where has the time gone? -- even if I'm likely to keep working another year to solidify the financial picture.) One big issue remaining to be resolved, which I'm not ready to discuss in detail.
I don't remember -- did I mention my back surgery at the end of April? (Herniated disks pressed on spinal cord, causing numbness in feet.) I'm in the physical therapy stage, so oddly, I may be in the best shape I've been in for years. I'm using a cane because my feet are still pretty numb -- it takes time for the inflamed nerves to calm down.
And between physical therapy and other appointments, I'm working from home most of the time and going in to the office about one day a week. Which saves a couple of hours a day on the commute.
Sheryl - Jun 21, 2018 12:43:31 pm PDT #26497 of 30002
Fandom means never having to say "But where would I wear that?"
Timelies all!
I don't know how Mr. S can watch the same episodes over and over and over. Right now he's watching an episode of Puppy Dog pals that he saw on Sunday. sigh...
askye - Jun 21, 2018 1:04:54 pm PDT #26498 of 30002
Thrive to spite them
Fred glad you are doing so much better.
Gud I want to second what Fred said. It's been 3 years since I was hosptialized for...well a nervous breakdown is the easiest way to describe it . I was seeing a therapist at the time but I also didn't really understand what was going on that was behind all of it. A big huge reason was I was filled with self loathing and hatred. I had no compassion for myself, very little kindness and I didn't really like myself. There were parts I liked but not a lot My therapist calls that part of me my toxic inner parent and this toxic inner parent barely tolerated me.
It's weird to try and talk about.
I also struggled with a lot of grief and anger over some things that happened when I was a kid and teenager. I wasn't really allowed to feel and Express those things and it got to the point where I thought if I ever did it would break me.
What was breaking me was suppressing all that and hating myself for not getting over it but I also wouldn't allow myself to deal with it so it was a cycle. A bad cycle.
What started healing me was dealing with this grieving and letting myself get angry etc.
I kinda like myself. I have compassion for myself. And a huge giant weight has been lifted off of me.
You deserve to have that weight lifted off of you to. And it's hard and sometimes scary work but it is worth it.