I can't stop looking at Twitter, but I feel like I'm going to lose my mind if I don't stop looking at Twitter.

This may well be my epitaph.

Hooray for smart kids and more vacation.

I have got to plan more vacation for the summer and/or fall.

I really have outrage fatigue, which I know is a problem. I'm trying to throw more money at problems, at least.

Do they still sell Dr. Scholl's sandals? I used to wear those, and now I'm thinking--why?

I was wearing Dr. Scholl's today! But this dude was in the full-foot, Dutch-souvenir-looking kind.

I keep reminding myself that her stubbornness will likely serve her well later in life.

That's how it worked with Emmett!

But there's a reason there's a ten year gap between kids because that shit is exhausting.

Things I said outloud at work today (once all the Trump voters were gone) - this is why I can't have guns, because I am really tempted to just go kill some people right now.

Y'all we are seeing some real evil right now. I'm gonna need some stringer meds, because I can feel the spiral starting. This is a crisis, like how am I supposed to work right now? I feel like I should maybe smuggle some people into my home and hide them out. Also? maybe move to Scandinavia.

Today, I hit my I-can't-even point with the Trump administration literally putting kids in cages.

I can't believe I even typed that sentence.

If other countries got together behind our back and decided to invade us over this shit, I would fly their goddamn flags on my porch. Because fuck the United States. We are monsters. And I mean "we", because I voted for Clinton but I can't keep babies out of cages. Canada should bomb the hell out of us, and more power to them.

Yeah, if a platoon came by my house flying the Maple Leaf, I'd breathe a "Oh, thank god. God save the Queen."

I have some close friends whose parents are ardent Trump supporters.

So I've spent the last half hour imagining punching septugenarians in the face, and ripping out their oxygen cannulas. Die you horrible old racist fucks.

My enemy lives under my flag.

Canada needs to sack the White House again.

It's unexpectedly hitting one of my triggers (which I mean in the clinical sense, not "oh, that makes me sad"), so I'm admittedly not rational about it. But then I also think there is no possible rational reaction to kids in cages.

I have some close friends whose parents are ardent Trump supporters.

Tim's dad has found himself a girlfriend at his assisted living facility, which would otherwise be fucking adorable, because she is a sharp-tongued, extremely intelligent, suffers-no-fools lady from Boston. But she seems to be the only Republican from Boston I've ever met, because I had to sit at dinner one night and listen to Jack and Millie talk about how much they love Trump. (One of the other ladies at the table, Edith, who had also seemed like she might be sweet on Jack, started rolling her eyes at the Trump talk and looked like she was going to stab him with a fork, so *that* romance never got off the ground. Edith is now my BFF there.)