It's not "I'm not getting what I need" it's "Somebody is getting something they don't deserve".

And somehow, in their minds, the people who "don't deserve" things are usually darker skinned than the people getting in a huff. I think this is behind white people on or below the edge of financial security voting for people who are destroying the social security net. Sure, it means that help won't be there for them, but at least those people won't be getting something they don't deserve. And I don't know how to talk to people like that. What do you say to someone who'd rather watch their own kids go hungry than know that, somewhere, a poor kid of color is getting a sandwich?

Question for the group: I'm going to a high school graduation party for someone who is basically like family. We aren't close. His parents have no sense of social mores, so I don't have to worry about what they will think. My mother already gave a gift. The grad has a brother graduating next year. Do I give him a gift? I was thinking just cash, but how much?

{{sarameg}} That's a lot. Mortality blows. Mom transitioned the cooking, cleaning, and bookkeeping to step-dad over a period of years. It was complicated by him having zero experience on the domestic front. Fortunately she found his incompetencies adorable rather than frustrating and they managed the transition.

Early morning news scanning seems encouraging on the primary fronts. Hope all the Buffista voters had good outcomes.

HI-larious encounter on my beach travels yesterday. The SUV in front of us had a huge Ravens sticker on the back window, a third scraped off. Over the remains he had an X in blue duct tape with "F@##$ the Ravens" and "Respect Our Flag and Country" written on it. Maybe he gets Hell Yeah responses from some, but we both pointed and burst out laughing. NFL is so screwed pissing off both sides with losing people who hate the kneeling, and losing those that hate the owners and their rules.

Until the last couple years, we'd all assumed mom would outlive/outbrain dad. Them included. We're recalculating.

I am sorry. This is hard.

Jesse. in our family and community environment high school graduation parties were common, but often celebrating multiple graduates together. Gifts weren't generally even given unless really close. Sometimes just slipping the kid a $20. Never really thought about it but it seems the parties were the point, and all helped with food and beverage. Different regions/families experience may differ.

Jesse $25 in a card is what I would do.

Thanks, guys!

In other news, here's an amazing podcast on Johnlock fandom, with an excerpt in text: [link] The podcast opens with Willa Paskin talking about how she was a Brenda/Dylan shipper, which feels like a nice grounding for if any non-fandom people are listening.

Eeep, going to get my hair cut. I has been a couple years. It is below my shoulder blades at this point. I also had grown out my bangs. Plan is to still leave it long enough to put in a band or up and bring back the bangs. I've cut my hair a remarkably few times in my life.

That's hard, sarameg. Dump as needed.

You and me both, Calli.

Graduation gifts are outside my experience.

No desire whatsoever to work today. And yet, here I am.

Right now my massive annoyance is a whole slew of people telling my nephew's fiance that he needs to have a sleep study because he must have sleep apnea because he snores. His mother chiming in with testimony that both she and his grandmother have sleep apnea, so he should get the study done. His mother and grandmother are both seriously obese and he is an athletic mid 20s guy in great shape. People with sleep apnea often snore, but the vast majority of people who snore don't have apnea!!

I've had a number of people "helpfully" tell me I should do a sleep study for this. Look, I know I snore like a buzz saw, but I have since I was a kid, and I don't wake myself up with shortness of breath or suffer excessive daytime sleepiness. Go play Amateur MD with someone else.