We worry about you Gud. You are not being treated with the love and respect that is supposed to exist between spouses. It isn't right or fair. I've worked with my husband for nearly 30 years and I know well that if I screwed up and forgot to install something he would react by apologizing for putting too much on my plate. I know because this is how he treats me. If he forgets something my first reaction is that he has too much going on and that I should have calendared it for him. Partners. Helping each other. Supporting each other. Never blaming or abusing each other. We all make mistakes and deserve understanding and support.
eta: xposty with the wise WindSparrow
Unrelated, clearly, and not disrepecting, but....
Sara made boobie cookies.
The caramels usually melt and make them look like volcanoes or sink into the cookie. But my kitchen was cold, hence the caramels were, so they didn't melt.
Just know Gud, you have people here who love and appreciate you for the generous, considerate person you are.
Gud I don't know if this applies to you but I felt lile there are similarities
I've always been extremely hard on myself, there has been a voice in my head telling me I'm greedy and selfish nd a gorhorrible rible person who is a burden on others and that I use people. And feeling like I am one step away from being a dumpster fire of a human.
People tell me I am not and it has been hard to hear. Year or so ago in therapy O finally told my therapist I wished people would be "honest" with me. By honest I meant agree with that. I didnt and dont want to be those things but it is exhausting fighting against that voice and I don't know what i thought but maybe if everyone agreed with it then life would be easier.
I don't know of it's hard for you to hear supportive comments because they dont see true.
The voice in my head is quieter in soe ways becuase of a lot of therapy but it os right there waiting. I had a meltdown the other day and ended up yelling at myself and saying all those things so it's not gone
The part of me, whatever part it is, constantly went on about what a terrible, horrible person I am. How I am fundamentally a bad person who is kust scamming people. It's hard to be bombarded by that message and not believe. But it isn't true .
The thing is, we are all such complex people. We ALL have horrible, selfish urges. We all get spiteful. We are all angry and greedy and lazy. We are all flawed. But we also have self-control, patience, compassion, kindness, empathy, respect, honor, justice, so many virtues in with our vices. I know it is not for everyone, but for me the start of ending my own self-hatred was to turn Jesus command to love my neighbor as myself on its ear. Jesus told me to love my neighbor as myself - that did not mean going around thinking my neighbors are worthless and disgusting; that meant that I was SUPPOSED TO love myself. And I was supposed to be as kind to myself as I am to others. That was hard. Another way of fighting off sef-disgust was remembering my mom's saying "water seeks its own level". There are so many wonderful people who love me, that I forced myself to realize that there is some wonderfulness in me - one or two people might be just being kind to me, but for so many to value me, that meant something. Gud, Buffistas are awesome, and you are one of us. You belong here. You are, by definition, awesome.
Your wife is being awful to you, Gud. I'm really sad that you think she's right.
Zen's post needs so many Agree buttons.
