A few more thoughts...

Last night two things got to me more than anything else. One was that someone within a block or so of here set off fireworks around the time it was clear Trump was going to win barring a miracle, and then again when PA was called. The first one I thought was a gunshot, and worried someone had committed suicide over the results, because it was a BOOM that reminded me of a deer rifle in the woods rather than the musket POP of a firecracker. Once I realized what it really was, it was all I could do not to storm out on the deck and scream, "Whoever you are, get the FUCK out of my city." Because I tend to assume, falsely, that we're all on the same side here. Very blue != all blue. And I had to talk Annabel down a bit, since one of the ways I'd been reassuring them was to say that most people here are on our side and were just as upset as we were.

But in general today, it felt like people were being quietly kind to each other. Like, even driving extra politely. And ordinarily we're a bit introverted and standoffish as a city, but today felt like being back on the East Coast or in the South, like we all wanted to make an actual connection with that person in the elevator or in line at the deli.

And speaking of the South, for some reason the moment that broke me last night was seeing video from an Auburn Twitter account showing some students rolling the oaks at Toomer's Corner in celebration of Trump's election (normally something done for big sports victories). It felt like a betrayal, which isn't logical because A) I'm not even an Auburn alum--several people in my family are, and it's my sports-rooting school because my actual alma mater isn't exactly a football powerhouse, and B) I know damn well Auburn is a very conservative school in a very red state. But somehow it just symbolized to me that the world I grew up in rejects me. Hates my politics. Hates my child. My family has going on two centuries of roots in Alabama red clay. I'm Southern in ways I'll never be Northwestern if I live in Seattle another 50 years, and my home HATES ME. I'm blood of their blood, and those kids rolling the Toomer Oaks would HATE ME if they knew I existed.

So today I replaced my Auburn badge lanyard with my Doctor Who one at work. Changed my desktop background from an Auburn football theme to the "Do justly now" Talmud quote. Tore down the schedule where I'd been tracking the W-L record when just yesterday I'd been speculating on whether a 2-loss SEC champion could make the playoffs. Shoved my Auburn hoodie into the back of the closet and dug out my Mariners one. Am in the market for a new license plate frame. Texted Dylan to say I'm thinking of becoming a Pac-12 fan, and is their room on his alma mater's bandwagon (Colorado). (He said good seats were still available, and finances permitting if they make the Rose Bowl it's a date.)

Maybe I'll change my mind once my grief rage has blown off...but it looks like I'm breaking up with AUBURN. With SEC football. That's an identity thing to me, and had kinda become a symbol of my Southernness while living on the far side of the country. But when it feels like something you love doesn't WANT your love...

Maybe I'll change my mind once my grief rage has blown off...but it looks like I'm breaking up with AUBURN. With SEC football. That's an identity thing to me, and had kinda become a symbol of my Southernness while living on the far side of the country. But when it feels like something you love doesn't WANT your love...

I get it. You need to break with that part of your past, even though it's painful. It would literally be an insult to your child if you didn't.

I started rewatching Firefly, which is streaming on Hulu, but even that's too stressful.

"Might've been the losing side. Not convinced it was the wrong one."

I get it. You need to break with that part of your past, even though it's painful. It would literally be an insult to your child if you didn't.

Yes, exactly. But it's a ripping out by the roots.

ION, a tweet I thought would just get some likes and retweets among my little circle of authors, disaffected former Sleepy Hollow fans, and local IRL friends like most of what I tweet somehow went viral. It's up to 341 retweets and 558 likes. Wil Wheaton just retweeted me. And I'm torn between feeling gratified my words are resonating with people who don't even know me and frantic bracing in fear against the inevitable hate tweets from Trump supporters.

...and while I was typing this post, here it comes. Hello, block button.

ETA Great. I've now been called a c*nt. I think that's a first for me.

Yeah, the harassment that women in particular get on Twitter sucks. And RTs can be a mixed blessing. I signed up for Block Together and I also block early and often when stuff like that happens.

Hell, in the week before the election I just started pre-emptively blocking the worst of the heat-seeking Trumpistas even when they weren't replying to me but were just somehow adjacent.

I'm sorry you had to see that and hope the sting fades.

Among other institutions you may choose to support, my neighbor - who is an investigative reporter and was a finalist last year for a Pulitzer - asks you consider actually subscribing to a newspaper to help support a free press.

I still can't wrap my head around this.

The normalizing is awful. I want to scream.

Heard on the radio that Dallas Co. Republicans registered 100K new Rep voters WHO HAD NEVER VOTED BEFORE this year. Dallas Co votes blue nationally and elected all Dems to the city positions, but lost 3 of the 4 TX house seats. Just interesting that this election brought out previously non-active REPs when I thought it would be more of a motivator the other way, new DEM voters.

Just more ugh to process. DEMs need a rural America plan.

Just went off on a local friend's FB post about a "nice guy" she knew who voted for Trump. If you vote for a rapey racist who will actively work to doom the world to the worst effects of climate change and ogliarchy, you lose the title of "nice". I don't care how butt-hurt you are that your while maleness doesn't automatically put you on the top of the heap any more.

Damnit, I've reached the last episode of Miss Fisher.