Maria, you are absolutely right on the burden of dealing with other mourners. Family isn't too bad, but there's a lot of performative grief that is being laid on my sister & nieces by people who barely knew A, and it's so hard on them. I get the impulse, but seriously, do people not understand basic courtesy?
I was so lucky I had a phalanx of Buffistas there who literally formed a ring around me to stop the outer tier from getting to me at the funeral. Everyone should have their own Buffista Legion with shields at the ready when they have to go through things like this.
Consuela, it just sucks. I have nothing more I can say.
Everyone should have their own Buffista Legion with shields at the ready when they have to go through things like this.
Or anything, really. The lurkers were supporting me in email last night when the depression was getting too black for comfort, and it helped so very much.
Having a guaranteed albeit invisible Buffista Legion was sometimes the only thing that gave me comfort when Hubby died.
Timelies all!
Hugs to all who need/want them. (That's as much energy as I've got right now.)
Maria, you are absolutely right on the burden of dealing with other mourners. Family isn't too bad, but there's a lot of performative grief that is being laid on my sister & nieces by people who barely knew A, and it's so hard on them. I get the impulse, but seriously, do people not understand basic courtesy?
Dealing with other mourners is exhausting, and performative grief is even more so. When Mom died, my pseudo big brother texted me asking what he could do, and he took on the task of managing the biggest drama queen in our circle who we all knew was going to go for the Oscar in performative grief.
Everyone should have their own Buffista Legion with shields at the ready when they have to go through things like this.
Plei and Cass saved my sanity during that time. I'm not exaggerating.
In I-am-easily-amused news: my sister just texted me "Shana tova" and I responded "and also to you". It really doesn't take much.
Got my shift assignment for nov dry run: all my regular hrs. I'm pulling more than any coworker and during prime time efforts, but that's fair as I'm getting the least disruption. And all I asked was to not have the weekend day shifts!
Also, think my boss is worried about not having me regular hours for nonJWST stuff. 7 hrs of people in a tizzy last night, I nailed down the critical points in an hour this morning. And it's a cluster of miscommunication (wtf, it's in he requirements!) and code and uhg. Dammed the leaky dike, made offerings to mission office gods, emergency contingencies applied. Gods I'm tired.
I was so lucky I had a phalanx of Buffistas there who literally formed a ring around me to stop the outer tier from getting to me at the funeral.
I remember vaguely an informal consensus that we should sit where we were together in your line of sight. And that we managed to try to never leave you unaccompanied. If there was a leader, good job on subtle guidance (or my cluelessness to said guidance) otherwise I'm glad the collective worked. It felt necessary to be there for you. I'm glad we were.
My uncle who's been in the hospital/rehab with a terrible infection for the last few months just took a bad turn. Good thoughts towards Delaware appreciated. He's a really dear person.
