I have no idea what to do with myself today.

Hugs to all of you. Callaluna, I am so sorry everything is so awful.

I had to cancel my training this morning because I haven't slept and can't stop crying. I unfriended anyone on FB that was pleased with the result, including my brother and my best friend locally. There is just no way I can face anyone that can be happy about this. They got what they asked for, and they are lost to me.

I went to bed before it was officially called (thanks, sleep meds), and wasn't surprised at the news when I woke up, but oh my god.

If I want to put the least horrifying spin on it, and (for the sake of this statement) set aside the fact that I'm pretty sure half my country is deeply, aggressively bigoted, I can say that I understand that the white rural vote is from a wide swath of people who aren't experiencing the economic recovery that started under Pres. Obama, and they're angry and scared and want a fix. But HOW can they think he's on their side??? How? Things are not going to get better for them.

I unfriended anyone on FB that was pleased with the result

That's my next stop.

My daughter cried. I cried with her.

I want to call in disgusted today. Like sorry, I'm not human enough to be around children because I'm busy carrying buckets of rage round in circles. That sad, I work in a school made entirely of immigrants, many of whom are illegal, with a staff made up mostly of immigrants. Today's not a day for wallowing. It's a day for standing.

And even though I want to unfriend everyone who is saying "I don't unfriend people for their political views, that's undemocratic," I'm wondering if that is the problem. Like if only these assholes could see the truth of my life and if I could stop being an asshole and see the truth of theirs maybe we could stop doing this to each other?

Nah. When a bunch of degree holding white women vote for someone so disdainful of them then nope. Nothing will matter. So I may as well defriend and go back to standing with my people.

Rose hasn't asked yet. I don't know if they'll talk about it at her school today. I'm torn between wanting to tell her now and wanting to put it off as long as possible. At least she won't really understand the importance, just that Mama and Daddy are sad about it.

Still sick about this. I am so very sorry for everyone right now.

I want to check the local news to see how the local races shook out, but I can't even bring myself to open the website because I don't want to see it.

A friend and I are working on a playlist called Trumpocalypse as a distraction. Bring on your suggestions, Buffistas!